FOR MY SONS: A CORRECTIONAL OFFICER has to have six pairs of hands. The angel shook her head slowly and said, “Six pairs of hands… no way!” “It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” said the Lord, “it’s the three pairs of eyes an Officer has to have.” ”Is that on the standard model?” asked the angel. The Lord nodded and said, “One pair that sees through a bulge in a pocket before the Officer asks, ‘May I see what’s in there, sir?’ (When the Officer already knows and wishes he’d taken that accounting job.)” The second pair, here in the side of his head for his fellow Officers safety and the third pair of eyes here in front that can look reassuringly at a bleeding victim and say, “You’ll be all right, when the Officer knows it isn’t so.” “Lord,” said the angel, touching his sleeve, “rest and work on this tomorrow.” “I can’t,” said the Lord, “I already have a model that can talk a 250 pound inmate out of a rebellious intention without incident and feed a family of five on a civil service paycheck.” The angel circled the model of the CORRECTIONAL OFFICER very slowly, “Can it think?” the angel asked. The Lord said “Can it think!” A CORRECTIONAL OFFICER can recite departmental rules in its sleep; detain, investigate, search, and arrest a gang member on a tier in less time than it takes five Federal Judges to debate the legality of a cell search… and still it keeps its sense of humor.
Posted on: Mon, 24 Mar 2014 16:43:45 +0000
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