Faking News: Constant Upload of Inked Fingers’ Images Crashes Facebook’s Servers 24th April, 2014: In an unprecedented event which left Mark Zuckerberg as speechless as Manmohan Singh, the Facebook servers crashed due to excessive upload of inked fingers’ images from India. This lead to sudden chaos among youngsters due to their inability to access Facebook and made them have normal human conversations with people around them. Zuckerberg’s team who initially thought the images would be of Sachin Tendulkar due to his birthday, were shocked to find all images just showing fingers of every person who voted in India. This news hit the headlines when a NaMo supporter Jignesh Mehta (name changed, still could be a name of real NaMo supporter) couldn’t use this favorite hashtag while posting something totally random on Facebook. When asked about this issue, he tried to rhyme his every second sentence with ‘AbKiBaarModiSarkaar’ as if he was inspired by the dialogues of Mithun’s 1998 movie ‘Gunda’! Though Facebook started working in some areas later, several other youngsters complained that Facebook showed wrong image under a wrong person’s profile. “That’s not my finger!”, exclaimed Divyanka Bakshi (name changed), a popular person on Facebook whose number of likes on her finger pic decreased from 300 to 280 due to this Facebook glitch. Apparently engineers at Facebook are still working to fix this glitch. But ironically when asked about it, all they had to say was “No comments!” Different political parties reacted in a different way to this issue. AAP leader Kejriwal scheduled an immediate dharna and said, “Yeh Facebook waale bhi corrupt logon ke saath mile hua hain. Jaise hi AAP supporters ke jyada Facebook posts aane lage, unn logon ne Facebook hi bandh kar diya. Yahi toh scam hain. Iski janch kaun karega? Kaun karegi iski janch?”. Rest of the AAP leaders claimed Google Plus to be the only honest social networking website right now. BJP leader Modi proposed a new Gujarat model for Facebook server management which appeared on the first four pages of all leading newspapers. No one read it entirely, no one understood it entirely but everyone praised it excessively. Unable to post viral memes on Facebook, BJP supporters were forced to spend money on manually creating banners which said ”Facebook bandh karne waalon, Janta Maaf nahi karegi”. During yet another unprepared speech, Rahul Gandhi mentioned,”Aaj bharat mein ek mein se do aadmi Facebook use karte hain. The democracy needs to be pushed deeper into the nation. The core issue here is what Rahul Gandhi thinks about the empowerment of women in the Indian villages….Blah blah blah” MNS supporters were initially confused regarding what to vandalize and on what issue because Raj Thackeray was busy demoralizing some TV reporter in an interview. After careful thinking, Raj announced that posting images of fingers and not of ‘Marathi’ cricketer Sachin on his birthday was an insult. Shortly after that, MNS supporters opened ‘facebook’ on all computers at a local cyber café and then broke all the monitors. Meanwhile in Lucknow, all people saying ‘Pehle aap’ were beaten up, thinking them to be AAP supporters. Despite AAP’s allegations, none of the violent attacks were claimed to be made by BJP supporters. We will soon investigate and publish reports of the same. -Samir Katte (Written just for fun. No hard feelings guys :-) )
Posted on: Fri, 25 Apr 2014 00:38:59 +0000
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