Family Court Update: As many of you have followed the situation over the past five years know, my only goals have been to protect my daughters long term emotional and mental health and to be an active part in her life without having to deal with parental alienation. This past week, I supplied to my exs lawyer a DVD with over 300 pages of court documents, 1,500 emails, 3,000 pages of journal entries, 2 hours of audio and a full hour video compilation detailing the exs parental alienation as well as my daughters very clear wishes and feelings on the matter and showing the effects on her of what has been occurring. As ten witnesses (at least three would be considered experts) sat in the waiting area to be called to testify, the law guardian, myself and my exs lawyer worked out an agreement. I have total faith that I would have won in court - but that would have led to continued legal battles and would not have been helpful in moving forward in a positive way for my daughter. If it is compared to the agreement I offered 5 years ago - it is almost exactly identical. It includes that both parents will get every other weekend from Friday at 6 - Sunday at 6. It includes that the week is divided so that both parents will get at least two evenings with the child. The agreement calls for both parents to share all information regarding; and to freely attend all school, medical, and extra-curricular activities. It includes extended time over the summer for at least one or two weeks. It includes a stipulation that each parent must notify the other and give them a chance to provide care before sending the child off to a daycare provider. (aka right of first refusal). It also includes a meditation agreement if there are further issues, the parties have to try mediation first. As everyone knows I have always stated that I do not need any letter or piece of paper from the court telling me how to be a good parent. Whenever there is contention and a lot of disagreement it is simpler to let one parent have final say in the big legal decisions, and so I allowed my ex to keep her bragging rights and to have sole legal custody. This may have been a horrible mistake - however I believe that rather then dragging things out in court, she is grounded in the area and my daughter is at the age where she is speaking for herself so legal nonsense means very little... as long as my ex can longer try to interfere or cause harm to my daughter by alienating one whole side of her family we should be okay. It is a shame that countless hours of work were missed, many peoples lives have been disrupted, thousands - tens of thousands of dollars have been spent on legal fees all to accept a variation of the same agreement offered 5 years ago... that was five years my daughter cannot get back... This entire ordeal has made lawyers rich and has set other people back and harmed countless relationships... so I am posting this as an example to try and help people. Please - if you are going to get a divorce think about the long term impact on your self, your children, your family, your friends, and try to work it out being reasonable and responsible. Place the children first and do not waste years of their life while making lawyers richer and yourself poorer monetarily and spiritually.... It took me 5 years of standing in court and repeating myself over and over and over again and providing year upon year more and more information to finally get the courts and others to be reasonable and put my daughter first... Please learn from my experience and do not let lawyers dictate your behavior or ruin your childrens childhood. I thank everyone for their support over the years and I hope that this ends a horrible, painful, and completely unnecessary chapter in my life. Thank you all.
Posted on: Sun, 01 Jun 2014 15:24:43 +0000
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