First World Problems Overheard Recently: “We sat on the tarmac with the AC off and no Wi-Fi for 20 minutes after boarding the plane.” “It’s impossible for me to get past the fact that the green beans are touching the mashed potatoes.” “It turns out the cute girl in my math class who buys her clothes at the thrift store isn’t making a statement against consumerism - she’s really just poor.” “My vitamin gummies melted when I left them in my BMW on a hot day. Now I have to buy a new bag that aren’t all flat and smushed together.” “I keep offering to give my maid English lessons so she can better herself. I don’t what she gets so defensive about.” “The black guy I work with seems annoyed rather than grateful at how I keep apologizing to him for slavery.” “My daughter gets mad at me when I complain about the scansion in her poems. I mean, okay, she’s only six, but still. Right is right.” “I just realized halfway into my remodel that I am not going to have any more room for my second wine fridge.” “I wished my father a Happy Patriarchy Day and he just called me an entitled little shitbag. He didn’t even like the beer I bought to bond with him over because it was from South Africa.” “I almost had to drink some water today that didn’t taste like anything.”
Posted on: Fri, 05 Jul 2013 22:47:10 +0000
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