For Friends who want to read this article in English ! In my 15 years of counselling, we did not handle a single case of ‘mental torture’, a complex, painful, and unrecognised form of abuse that has no visible solution. A strategy of silence and non-communication is a form of violence. Rarely is the victim able to identify the problem and so it is all the more difficult for a third party to intervene. Certain social, psycho-social and economical issues are involved. In India, a boy grows up internalising patriarchal views of male superiority. When he fails to acquire the desired status or prominence in his career, he compensates by trying to control his domestic life. Another situation occurs when he enjoys a high status at work along with the sycophancy that accompanies it. The problem arises when he is unable to leave behind the ‘halo’ and ‘aura’ of the workplace. As a result he tortures his wife finding a sadistic pleasure in crushing her personality. Generally these couples appear to be very happy and fulfilled because women from comparatively conservative backgrounds gradually learn to adjust to every kind of environment. It has been deeply ingrained in her that a woman must learn to compromise. When the woman gets used to the shouting and screaming, she does not see it as torture. When unable to identify her problem, how and to whom can she describe it? Over time, she begins to believe herself lacking and unworthy. And her self-esteem takes a nosedive. -- The HINDU Magazine 30 March 2008
Posted on: Mon, 31 Mar 2014 13:56:22 +0000