For all those who are losing hope, theres always that one person who will always be there for you. That is, God. I just want to share a bit of my life and some weird experiences with you guys. Here it goes, to start off, Im a very unhappy kid. Ive been through a lot of physical, emotional, and mental pain. Ive spent my whole elementary life as a punching bag for bullies, and my high school life as a recipient of countless insults. Before judging me, Im quiet, shy, passive, and peaceful type of person. I hate and avoid conflicts as much as possible. If I do get into a fight, I just stand my ground and do nothing, I hate fighting back and I hate hurting people. Whether its physical, emotional, or mental I just cant hurt anyone and if I do hurt someone, I feel so bad for it. Carrying on, every person has their own limits, Ive reached mine a few years back. The pain was too unbearable for me...so I decided to end my life. I snuck into the kitchen one night and started searching for a knife, paper, and pen. I wrote everything I wanted to say to my parents and held the knife in the air to end the pain. As I was about to miserably die, I felt someone holding my hand, nobody was there when I opened my eyes. Then theres this warm, comforting voice coming from nowhere saying, Huwag mong gawin yan. I immediately obeyed the voice and returned the knife. After returning it, I felt a pat on my back and the pain Im feeling disappeared. I quickly burned the note and went back to sleep. That didnt stop there...the second time was when I was in my sophomore years in High School. As usual, it was a quiet night and I snuck into the living room this time and found some rope. As usual, I wrote the note and tied the knot, stood for a moment and said to myself, Bakit ba kailangan nalang ako naaapi? Nananahimik na nga lang ako, pinapansin pa din ako. Putanginang buhay to.. After saying that, I felt a warm, protective, and comforting hug from a person I cant see. The same voice replied, Hindi ba sinabihan na kita? Alam ko naman na malakas ka at kaya mo tiisin ang sakit na nararamdaman mo ngayon. Itigil mo na yan. same thing, I stopped and burned the note. Sadly, I snapped again and decided to do it all over again the following year. Again with the knife, but this time, a centipede (yeah, weird) crawled up my chest. It didnt do anything, it just sat there and it looked like it was staring at me. The same voice spoke once more, Papipiliin kita ngayon, dito o impyerno? I thought about it and chose to live. After saying that, the centipede left without doing me any harm. Now, Ive changed my perspective in life and I will never again commit suicide. In the midst of darkness, God will always be there to be our guiding light. God is always there for us. So, to all those who are in pain and losing hope, everything will go your way eventually. :) Say No To Suicide and No To Bullying. Sorry mahaba masyado. Keep Safe Thomasians and have a Good Day! :)
Posted on: Fri, 10 Oct 2014 14:09:33 +0000