For the GIMPS that attend church services: Last evening I decided I would attend midnight mass! DONT ask me why! I havent been to church in years as groups of ABAHs blessing me and my GIMP self quite frankly frightens me! Anyway, I was asked by the parish seminarian if I would be so inclined as to participate in the church collections which involved waddling from pew to pew, gliding the basket in front of the parishioners so that they could place money into it and they dumping the offerings into one large basket! In a split second I imagined a scenario where I hit a parishioner or two with the collection basket across the face as I not so gracefully glided the basket in front of them, tripped down the isle as I made my way to the back of the church, dropped envelopes and loose change from the basket as I spastically tried to keep it upright, and totally missing the large basket as I dumped the offerings into it! I not so politely and disrespectfully declined spastically mumbling, Sorry sir but I dont think I nor my GIMP arse (YES I said arse) will be able to perform the task with the grace and dignity it deserves ( I was trying to sound intelligent after saying arse in a House of God! MEERY CHRISTMAS!
Posted on: Thu, 25 Dec 2014 13:33:08 +0000
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