Foreplay: The loving before the shoving. // A bloke and his wife went to a family planning clinic. Weve been married for ten years and weve got no kids, said the husband. And the next-door neighbors say its because were stupid. Nonsense, smiled the doctor. Its probably to do with your diet. Or it might be a question of timing. How many times a week do you do it? Do what? asked the wife. // Im not saying shes a slut, but if her vagina was a restaurant, it would be a drive-thru. // Have you heard about the gigolo in the leper colony? Everything was fine until his business started falling off. // ~~~~~~~~~ Message Center A blonde went into a worldwide message center to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $300 she exclaimed, I dont have that kind of money!! But I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland! The man arched an eyebrow. Anything? Yes, anything the blonde promised. With that, the man said, Follow me. He walked into the next room and ordered, Come in and close the door She did. He then said, Get on your knees She did. Then he said, Take down my zipper She did. He said, Go ahead... take it out She took it out and grabbed hold of it with both hands. The man closed his eyes and whispered, Well... go ahead! The blonde slowly brought her lips closer, and while holding it close to her lips she said loudly HELLO, MOM? ~~~~~~~~~ Hide Quick The lovers passionately embraced while lying on her bed. Their bodies fused together as they gyrated and panted. Then, suddenly the woman cocked her ear. Quick, my husband is coming through the front door. Hide in the bathroom, she cried. The lover ran into the bathroom as she hid his clothes under the bed. Just as she turned back, her husband came through the bedroom door. What are you doing lying naked on the bed? he asked. Darling, I heard you coming up the drive way and got ready to receive you she replied with a wink and a smile. Great he said, Ill just run into the bathroom and Ill be with you in two shakes. She panicked. Before she could stop him, he was in the bathroom. He found a man clapping his hands together in mid air. Dumfounded, he asked, Who the hell are you? Im from the exterminator company. Your wife called me in to get rid of these pesky moths the lover replied. The husband yelled, but youve got no clothes on!!! The lover looked down at his body, jumped backwards in surprise and said, Those little bastards! ~~~~~~~~~
Posted on: Tue, 19 Nov 2013 13:58:43 +0000
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