From My Heart Lateral Violence is hurting our families, the members of our first nation, the staff and chief and council of Missanabie Cree First Nation. Ever since the reinstatement of our first nation our families have been pulled apart. As a family member caught in the middle between families I am torn and disheartened by the fighting between all the families. Healing needs to start to take place before irreparable damage kills our nation. There has been so much hurt between families and it time to recognize that we are ALL guilty of hurting each other in some way or another with use of lateral violence. I really feel that we are all starting to see that lateral violence does exist however, those who point the finger must realize that when you point your finger at someone, you will find three fingers pointing back at you. No one really wants to accept blame for doing the same things that you are accusing others of doing because it forces you to look at your own self and realize you are just as guilty. There has been a severe communication break down within our nation and families. There are members that have been so hurt by actions of others and continue to dwell on this. People fail to realize that we are human and we make mistakes. Admitting our mistakes can be extremely difficult especially when we are infected by pride, pressure from other family members, and stubbornness. Being a part of many different families, I find myself hearing stories of love from the past and longing for those happier days. I also hear about the wrongs that people have done to each other. Some people talk about reconciliation but really truly aren’t ready to submit to it. Yes we have all done things to hurt each other and feel that certain people don’t deserve certain things, but we all need to start letting those issues go by forgiving each other and really mean it. This is something we all learned as children, to apologize and mean it from your heart. Apologizing doesn’t stop there. As you may also remember, stopping the behaviour is also apart of apologizing or the apology doesn’t mean anything in the first place. Lateral violence, we have all been guilty of it. Think about it for a minute. Have you ever gossiped about other family members? Have you shamed or put down another member or family member for something they have done to someone else or in their personal lives? Have you partaken in a family feud and knocked others down while visiting with others? Do you feel angry or frustrated for something they have done in the past at other members? Do you act on this by justifiably hurting others and call it “rules or codes”? Do you feel jealous of what others have or the status they hold? Do you feel envious because you secretly want what another has or has accomplished? If you answered no to any of this, you need to look deep within yourself and find out why you feel you are on a side or we will continue this fight between families and continue to oppress each other. Even though you may not actively partake in it, you may be passively partaking in it by not saying something to stop it. Oppression is something that we continue to inflict on each other by being unknowingly or also deliberately cruel to one another by exercising power over one another by use of words, the past, status, making people feel guilty for past actions, and trying to control one another. There was a time that everyone at some point could remember how all of us at some time or another use to visit one another and help each other out. I feel that we all remember what family is all about but we have cut off each sup-group of families. Currently there are divisions of families. Back then, yes we had our family names but we never identified ourselves under that tree and cut ourselves off from others. We are slowly losing our traditional ways by continuing our feud between families. It’s not about money, greed, hurting each other, who has what, what status in the community that we hold, and how much money we make. We are all equal and deserve respect and love from one another. We need to start joining in unity, airing out our feelings, telling the truth about how we feel and not just within our little groups, and start the healing process within our families. We all need to start taking responsibility for the choices we make and the hurt we cause others and start loving and communicating with each other. The hate we bring upon each other will eat our community alive before it becomes nothing. We can choose to stand up and say, I will not be apart of this gossip or discussion and walk away. Other ways you can help stop the lateral violence is by increasing your conscience and start loving, being kind to one another, communicating, stop fearing what others will think of you if you stand up for someone else, and forgiving even if there is no apology. We all have to start somewhere. Whether people believe it or not, this all stems from the residential school syndrome. We are a repressed and oppressed people and we have all have turned on each other in an attempt to heal the pain of our past whether it be by recent hurts or something our parents and done to us and was learned from their parents and so forth. From my heart to yours, Natalie Souliere Fletcher Gauthier Sources and resources on lateral violence: equaywuk.ca/HFHNDVT/WhatIsLateralViolence.pdf snaicc.org.au/_uploads/rsfil/02716.pdf slideshare.net/griehl/managing-lateral-violence-and-its-impact kweykway.ca/blog/what-is-lateral-violence https://humanrights.gov.au/publications/chapter-2-lateral-violence-aboriginal-and-torres-strait-islander-communities-social creativespirits.info/aboriginalculture/people/bullying-lateral-violence nwac.ca/files/reports/AboriginalLateralViolence%20-%20web%20version.pdf
Posted on: Thu, 23 Oct 2014 02:54:57 +0000
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