GRAY HAIR, GLORY DAYS & WISDOM By Reydon Stanford I used to laugh at my Father-in-Law because he couldnt stay awake through a movie. Even if I thought it was a movie hed love, after fifteen minutes or so, Id look over and hed be sound asleep. It didnt matter if it were on my couch or in a movie theater. Little did I know that in my own life, Id also reach a point were my brain wanted to shut off early and just rest. I was embarrassed recently, when my son Joshua took me to see a movie hed been dying to see, only to have to elbow me and wake me up. I had fallen sound asleep. My apologies to my Father-In-Law. Its an interesting proposition...getting older. In many ways my mind feels fresh and I dont think about my age much. I am still very active, more fit than since High School, and I work hard, play hard and love hard. Yet...I have to admit there have been some changes. I worry less about insignificant things, pee more, think about my health more and care more than I ever have about others...and much less about myself. I also think about Heaven more. I also have to undergo medical procedures that poke...prod and assure me that Im okay for another year. There is a scene in the classic Frank Capra film, Its A Wonderful Life, where an older man is sitting on the porch, watching two young lovers fret over their first kiss. In frustration he leaves the porch and says, Youth is wasted on all the wrong people. Boy...is that the truth! If I could be eighteen again and know what I know now... I think what amazes me most is time. I remember being a child thinking Id never grow up. In all honestly...my childhood seems like the longest part of my life. I couldnt wait to drive a car...have a girlfriend...live my life as a singer...become intimate and have a wife. It seemed like forever. It wasnt. Now Ive realized all of those dreams. I finally got my drivers license, had a successful recording and performing career and was married and had two sons. Ive also had a successful career as a minister and counselor, which continues to this day. Still...it seems like only yesterday my sons were born. I can picture the days of their births in my mind like it was yesterday. Today, one is married...the other about to graduate High School. It went by much too fast. We have thousands of photos of them growing up...but it still seems like it went by in months, not years. In the meantime, I lost some very important people in my life. I shouldnt say lost, because I know right where they are...but they arent a part of my everyday life anymore. My Mom, Dad, one of my sisters and one of my brothers are now on the other side. I could not have imagined them not being a part of my life forever...but its a harsh truth. Then...I look in the mirror. Gone is the smooth skin, replaced by wrinkles. Gone is the long hair and pretty brown beard. In its place is worn skin, and graying hair. Honestly, sometimes, I dont recognize that image. I still feel so young. I still do almost everything and more that I did when I was eighteen. I still have hopes, dreams, ideas. I still believe. Ive also seen a dramatic change is society. Gone are the days of the family gatherings at mealtime. Gone are the days of talking face to face, in exchange for texting, phone calls or social media. Gone are the days of anything simple. Gone are the days when people worked their problems out, because it was the right thing to do. Now...its just move on to something or someone else. Little did I know that my life was on a time clock. Its minutes and hours have been ticking away all along. It felt like I would be around forever, so I lived that way. Now...I regret some of those wasted minutes. If I could spend more time with my Mom, my Sister, my Brother...my Dad...Id so do it. I cant. Thats gone til the next life. So I wait. Its also sad that in our society, we build walls around age. When I was eighteen, one of my best friends was a man in his eighties. He and I were both history buffs, and could visit for hours about the Civil War, the Dust Bowl and other historic events. I was honored to speak at his memorial service. Today...we dismiss people who are older or younger than ourselves, to our own demise. Its kinda sad really. With that said, I am friends with several people much younger than myself, so there are some still willing to ignore a number and embrace whats valuable in others. For the last couple of years Ive thought a lot about my legacy. I dont fool myself into believing I might change the world, but I have realized I have changed the lives of others...hopefully for the better. Ive realized that what I say and do, matters, so I try to do that in a beautiful, peaceful, kind and accepting way. As much for my sons as anyone. My years have taught me...love matters. Friendships matter so invest in them. Values and boundaries matter, so keep them. Wise counsel is priceless so give it and receive it. Never miss an opportunity to say I love you, and never take tomorrow for granted. Throw away things that make you fearful, anxious or sad and embrace things that are eternal. Dont give up on people who are struggling...you may be their only hero. Be thankful for what you do have, instead of constantly complaining about what you dont. Learn to laugh. Laugh at yourself...at silly puns...at almost everything really. Laughter shows we believe in the eternal, no matter how hard the temporary seems. My friends...my clock is ticking. So is yours. Live every minute. Resist the temptation to check out with addictions, which just leave you numb. Life the life youre given. Its all temporary anyway. So have fun and do your best at it. There will be days of pain, sorrow, joy, laughter and confusion. They are all part of the human experience. Embrace them and remember...you were built for eternity...not age.
Posted on: Fri, 21 Mar 2014 07:26:36 +0000