Gardner Dozois Today is Plan Your Epitaph Day. I think mine would read He Couldve Done Worse. Feel free to post your own epitaph here. Its also Sorry, Charlie Day, honoring Charlie the Tuna, who has been the StarKist spokesfish since dreamed up by a Chicago advertising firm in 1961, and of the famous saying--Sorry, Charlie--associated with him. I have always found Charlie the Tuna to be a deeply troubling figure. In the early days, he was a suicidal tuna, who kept trying any desperate ruse he could think of to get humans to catch him and eat him, only to always be rejected by a note saying Sorry, Charlie. These days, he seems to have morphed into a sort of Judas Tuna, urging humans to eat more tuna and luring his fellow tuna to their deaths. The New Age spin on this holiday is that you shouldnt let rejection discourage you, but should keep trying to achieve your goals. So keep trying--someday something WILL catch you and eat you. Today is also New Beers Eve, celebrating the Cullen-Harrison Act, which allowed production of beer to resume in the United States on April 7, 1933 after thirteen years of Prohibition. On the 6th, long lines formed in front of breweries and taverns, made up of people waiting to be able to legally buy beer after the stroke of Midnight--hence New Beers Eve. So if you want to find a brewery or tavern and wait in front of it all night before you have a beer, this would be the right night to do that. While waiting in line, you can keep your strength up by eating some Hostess Twinkies, for it is also Hostess Twinkies Day. I find it bemusing that all of the panicked concern that people ought to have felt about bees and bats teetering on the brink of extinction they felt instead about the danger of Hostess Twinkies going out of production, a dread crisis fortunately averted. So now we may be up to our asses in bugs, and have little else to eat, but, triumphantly, we WILL still have Hostess Twinkies to eat (for a while, anyway). Whew! Its also Army Day. I didnt much like being in the Army when I was in it, but I reluctantly recognize the necessity of having one if the nation is to survive, and I always support the soldiers who do their duty by going off to fight and die, regardless of what I think of some of the wars that fatcat politicians have dreamed up for them to give their lifes blood in. Today is also International Whistlers Day, so wherever you go today, be sure to whistle a merry tune. While walking and whistling, you can honor Jump Over Things Day, which it also is, a logical progression of the Walk Around Things Day we had a couple of days back. For a dress code, its Tartan Day. If you dont like Tartan, its also Teflon Day, so you could try dressing in Teflon instead, and at least the rain would slide right off you. For eats, its Fresh Tomato Day, and also National Caramel Popcorn Day. Caramel Popcorn is too sweet for me, and strikes me as a waste of good popcorn, but if you like i, feel free to stuff yourself with it. Its also National Student Athlete Day, but since I was about as far from an athlete in school as its possible to get, Ill leave that for the celebration of others.
Posted on: Mon, 07 Apr 2014 01:14:51 +0000
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