Gators from Around the Multiverse: from the the Far East reaches of the Elythrian Galaxy, all the way to Swampy Bogs in the Ville of Gaines, please gather around the Campfyr whilst I tell you a tale... Are you afraid of the Swamp? Four score and many moons ago, there lived the most fearsome creature of all: the American Alligator of Yore. The American Alligator of Yore used to grow to great lengths of over 100 feet and had Fangs the size of modern day Wildebeests. These Reptilian Mammoths could walk and feasted upon early nomadic peoples known as Seminoles and their faithful puppies known as the Dawgs. In fact, the American Alligator not only used to devour them whole, but also ascribed them to serfdom so they could till the unfertile Swampland. Further, the Alligator was inherently American, so it would roam free, beaming full of pride, and spewing Red White and Blue colored laser beams out of its snout. It figured these patriotic beams were more useful than fire itself. While dressing for battle, the American Alligator of Yore would wear Orange & Blue warpaint - the most vibrant and un-camoflougy colors to distinguish its majesty in battle. When you saw Orange & Blue you knew you would be VANQUISIZED by the American Alligator of Yore. Fast forward a few millennia and our great American Alligator of Yore has been long forgotten. What was LOTR QUOTE HERE! lost should not be forgotten. The world grew complacent in the absence of the American Alligator of Yore. But HARK! There are rumblings from the West. Orange & Blue reflections have been seen glimmering from the Pantheon of Jerral in the heart of the barren, unforsaken plains of Texas. What treachery! We were told a lie! A lie that no such beast existed! Can the prophecy be true? What prophecy you may ask? Written in the Elder Scrolls of Fate lost in the Fire of Alexandria the prophecy reads: On the 5th & 7th day of the Month of April of our Lords year of 2014, the American Alligator of Yore will be unleashed by the one true heir, a General from the land of the Shore, and his band of merry men from the Pantheon of Jerral in a battle known as the Final of the Four. Once unleashed, expect a wrath of fury upon all who have sought to bury the American Alligator of Yores existence including the forbears and childrens children from the Seminole Tribe and their puppies - the aptly misspelled Dawgs. Can it be? The one true heir is on is his way to Texas as we speak!?! Let the bells ring from the Halls of Valhalla!! The Mighty and Battle Tested General Donovan is rumored to be him. He has taken his merry men, including the Legion of Seniority, with him to release the mythical beast. But before they arrive there will be many a test to prove themselves worthy. First, the Blue-Eyed Huskii from Connecticut must be beaten into submission. Much like Medusa, those blue eyes from the Huskii peer deep into your soul until you are turned to stone! Truth be told, General Donovan and the Legion of Seniority, lost a preliminary skirmish against them. Many a good soul were lost on that day, but General Donovan & The Legion of Seniority knows what must be done for the Huskii to be relinquished. Next, the fearsome Badgers from Cheeselandia. They are relentlessly vicious and have wounded General Donovans men in the past. They are lead by the Kaminskius, a 10 foot behemoth of a Badger that has swallowed other heroins whole. Not this time, No! General Donovan will release Patric the Young upon the Kaminskius. A great battle will commence and the earth will rumble as these two beings clash on the world stage before the River Styx. But Alas, Patric the Young will see the light of Victory shine forth upon his fayce. Finally, and most loathesomely, General Donovan will face the Blue People of the Kent of Tuck. These vile creatures shoot incestual venom-laden Spiaders known as One&Dones from their snares. They are fledgling beasts, young, but dangerous. General Donovan & the Legion of Seniority has slain them three times this year alone. But, like the Hydra, they regenerate, reload, recharge, and have learned from their previous mistakes. They are bigger and badder than ever before. Blue People Leader John of the Calipari is ready to release his Spiaders until he meets Sire Scot the Frigid of the Kin of Wilb. Sire Scot the Frigid of the Kin of Wilb is quicker than Achilles, and more brave than Thor. He has slain many a Spiader before and will ultimately prove that no Spiader from the Blue People of the Kent of Tuck will last against him. Victory for General Donovan and his Legion of Seniority during the tumultuous Batter of the Final of the Four is what our prophets say! Prepare now for the Orange & Blue painted American Alligator of Yore to be released and prepare for his snarling patriotic laser beam to VANQUISIZE your haterade drinking soul. THE GATORS ARE GROWLING. THE GATORS WILL ARISE. HARK! SOUND THE BELLS! GENERAL DONOVAN WILL RELEASE THE VENGEANCE OF THE GATOR NATION ONCE MORE. But Ladies & Gentlemen of the #GatorNation, he cannot do it alone. Let us rise together, as one ROWDY REPTILE as we prepare for the ultimate test of will, guts, & glory. I ask you this... WILL YOU RIDE AT DAWN? Alas, Let the prophecy hold true... God Speed God Bless & Go Gators. I will see you at the glimmering gates of the Panethon of Jerral for the Battle of the Final of the Four. #GoGators #GatorsAlways #GodBlessAmerica #GatorTEJ #FreedomTEJ #VanquisizingTEJ gatorsalways/
Posted on: Fri, 04 Apr 2014 18:51:25 +0000
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