Getting older ...but cant remember why or when. 2015 - Thoughts for the New Year Need a few smiles? Wouldnt it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller! Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We havent met yet! I dont trip over things, I do random gravity checks! I dont need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off! Old age is coming at a really bad time! When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment ... now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation! The biggest lie I tell myself is ... I dont need to write that down; Ill remember it. Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the friends to post my bail when I finally snap! I dont have gray hair. I have wisdom highlights. Im just very wise. My people skills are just fine. Its my tolerance to idiots that needs work. Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he wouldve put them on my knees. The kids text me plz which is shorter than please. I text back no which is shorter than yes. Im going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what Ill do that second week. When did it change from We the people to screw the people? Ive lost my mind and Im pretty sure my kids took it! Even duct tape cant fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound! Why do I have to press 1 for English when youre just gonna transfer me to someone I cant understand anyway? Lord, Give me patience and give it to me NOW. Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice. Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud? At my age Getting lucky means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
Posted on: Sun, 11 Jan 2015 08:50:02 +0000
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