Glowing Like the Metal on the Edge of a Y2Knife It was 15 years ago today. A kinder time, a simpler time. Everyone was wondering what Prince was going to do with 1999. Bill Clinton had been acquitted of impeachment, although the Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky joke was firmly ensconced in the nations stand-up comedy routines. The euro made its debut, as did The Sopranos and Napster. The two biggest disasters were Star Wars Episode 1, which had already occurred, and Y2K, which threatened to destroy all computers and hence all of human civilization. I attended a seminar/book signing given by a crackpot at the now-defunct Astor Place Barnes & Noble, in which he told of the importance of getting a generator and enough food supplies to last you for months. I didnt get any of that crap. One of my cousins did. At the beginning of December, I received a call from the comedian Eric Deskin, asking me if I wanted to see Meat Loaf on New Years Eve. I thought about it, but said no. I wasnt really that interested in Meat Loaf. But then as usual, I made no plans. It got closer to New Years Eve. A few days before, I was watching the local news, and the broadcast showed a montage of places the authorities said were possible New Years Eve terrorist targets: The Empire State Building. Statue of Liberty. World Trade Center. The Chrysler Building. Virtually every major landmark in the city. I figured if some shit was going down I didnt want to be at home, watching Dick Clark (who was alive at the time, by the way). So I called Eric. He had one ticket left. On New Years Eve, I met Eric on the Upper West Side and he said we had to go pick up Meredith and her friends. We went to a duplex penthouse apartment, the kind that exists in fiction or on Dallas. To say I was swept away by Meredith doesnt do justice to the cliche. I never left her side. At the front door, you had to fill out a piece of paper with your name, your favorite sports team and whether youd be willing to kiss in front of 1,500 people. As most of the people in our party were comedians, everyone wrote funny answers, except for Meredith, who wrote her actual favorite sports team (the Yankees). This was not a usual Meat Loaf tour, but the VH-1 Storytellers Tour, in which Mr. Loaf (as the New York Times refers to him) told stories and took questions from the audience as well as singing his hits. So there was ample opportunity to talk to Meredith, although I had to keep leaning in front and in back of other people to do so. I knew that Meat Loaf pulled people from the audience onstage to sing Paradise By the Dashboard Light and assumed that thats what the pieces of paper were for. It turned out that Merediths apartment belonged to a couple that she lived with and did some work for. Around 11:20, she thought she should get back to check up on how the party was doing. I said, You cant leave! What are you going to do if he calls your name? She said OK. Five minutes later, Meat Loaf read from a piece of paper. Is there a Meredith... Fabray in the audience? Meredith stared at me. Thats you! Thats you! I said. Meredith went up on the stage. She had to straddle another audience member, a guy, on top of a desk. Meat Loaf and the band rehearsed the part where the music stops and the female singer sings, Stop right there! I gotta know right now! Before we go any further, will you love me, will you love me forever... Meredith nailed the line and the notes perfectly. Then they did the song. What Meat Loaf didnt know is that the woman he pulled from the audience was actually an actress. Meredith acted out the song. Meat Loafs female singer noticed this and played off of Meredith, and then Meat Loaf did, too. It didnt look random, it looked fake - staged. It was unbelievable. Meredith came off the stage and swept out of the Beacon, like Diana Ross. I followed her a few minutes later. I got to her building at about ten minutes to midnight. There, on the elevator door, was a sign put up by her super: DUE TO Y2K, THERE WILL BE NO ELEVATOR SERVICE UNTIL AFTER MIDNIGHT. While Meredith had been singing with Meat Loaf, a calm voice came into my head: Thats it. Search is over. So I couldnt believe that I wasnt going to be with her not only at the stroke of midnight, but at the stroke of the millennium. The super came down the service elevator a few minutes later, and he took me to Merediths floor. (Theres other stuff that happened, involving a drunk/stoned party guest who fell off a banister and had to go to the hospital, causing Meredith to miss an hour and a half of her own party, but thats another story). The next days news was filled with stories about how Y2K was a complete dud and nothing of significance had happened. But I knew something had. The millennium had completely changed. And I remember every little thing as if it happened only yesterday . . .
Posted on: Wed, 31 Dec 2014 23:53:15 +0000
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