Grace in the Storm (a continuing journey) Am I in Denial? I know people mean well. I know I have a lot of people watching out for me. I don’t even have the words to express how much I value the prayers and concern of so many. But there’s something I don’t understand…so I reckon I’ll just put it out here. I’m not judging. I’m not angry. I’m helping myself (and maybe some others). I’m teaching myself (and maybe some others). So here it goes… I was afraid it was coming…actually I sort of expected it…someone would eventually play the “D” card. It probably went something like this… “Rick is really doing well. It’s almost like nothing ever happened. But it’s coming. Reality is going to hit him one day. Do you think he is in denial?” I’ll say it as simple as I know how…I am not in denial. Reality has definitely set in. Bev has died. No one knows that with any more clarity than me, my children and their spouses. We were there…Sunday, October 26th at 9:30 in the morning. Reality has definitely set in. There is not one single thing I can do to change the outcome. I am painfully aware of that fact. Reality has definitely set in. No one is more aware that the bed I sleep in is much bigger than it used to be because Bev isn’t there. Reality has definitely set in. No one is more aware than me of the emptiness that permeates my house…even when the house is filled with people, something is missing...Bev isn’t here. Reality has definitely set in. No one is more aware than me that… …the grandkids will never have another helping of Grammy’s homemade pancakes …that I am now a one-car family …that Peyton Manning has lost his #1 Cheerleader …that there will be no K-Love Cruise this January to celebrate 35 years of marriage …that I won’t be surprising Bev with a Christmas gift this year. This list could go on and on because reality has definitely set in. “Then why do you seem to be handling things so well,” you ask? First…I don’t know that I am doing “so well.” I definitely have my time of hurt. My time of questioning. My time of dread. My time of wishing for a different outcome. But there’s something you need to know about me. It’s not a secret. Those who know me well will nod their heads in agreement. I am a simple man. I have a very simple faith. I’m not going to impress you with my theological prowess. I’m not going to wow you with my intellectual skills. I am a simple man. I have a very simple faith. You see, I can’t really get past something I have heard ever since I was a young child. It is the most profound statement in the world and yet we tend to relegate it to “kid’s stuff.” Read this statement and dwell on it for a moment. Here it is… “Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me, the Bible tells me so.” Are you blown away yet? You should be. The Creator of everything that exists loves you. And He loves me. Go ahead…take a moment and read that statement out loud to yourself. Say it again…this time a little slower. Take it in. Jesus love you. Now follow me here. This is what my simple faith looks like. This Jesus who loves me has promised heaven to those who trust Him as Savior and serve Him as Lord. That’s a promise He fulfilled to Bev. She took her last breath on the morning of October 26th and was immediately ushered into the presence of Jesus because He loves her and she loved Him. This Jesus who loves me has promised to work all things together for my good and His glory…and I’m just simple enough to take Him at His word. I really do believe that in my times of weakness, He is strong…just like the statement declares. I am not in denial. I hurt. I grieve. But Jesus, who loves me, is providing the strength day by day to keep living my life so that others might know Him. And if He loves a bum like me, I know He loves you too. So, read that statement one more time. Dwell on it for a moment. Better yet, dwell on it the rest of your life. “Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me, the Bible tells me so.” I’m not in denial. I am trusting God…simply trusting. Until next time…
Posted on: Sat, 22 Nov 2014 16:00:31 +0000
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