HE or SHE 5 Signs Your Soul Mate is a Villain By. Write With Spiritual. 09/10/2014 PART 2 He extracts you from your former life. You are running from something, and so you do not mind it when your doorstep fades into the background of your life with all of the comforting and familiar voices. In a dream you do not remember, you’ve already said goodbye. Deep in your spirit you already know you may never return from this place, and if you do, you will not be who you were before. They would not recognize you. They would not know you anymore. You must enter the forest of adventure at the place where it is darkest. If there is a light or a path, it is someone else’s.” ~Joseph Campbell You protest only weakly as he guides you past the boundaries of the ordinary world. A forbidden intrigue rises up from inside you and he uses it to reassure you that you’re safe in his big meaty hands. Just to seal the deal, he gives you an amulet he made just for you. You accept it like a chain around your throat, which, he claims, only proves he has taken responsibility for your well-being, and isn’t that what you wanted? He has a way of making your shadow seem small, but you have not yet realized that it is only because his is so large. There are many unusual creatures who reside along this dark path through the ancient hissing forest. Not all of them look fearsome; some are strange and beautiful, but there is an underlying dis-ease in this place. You deny knowing this. You refuse to acknowledge that deep within you it is comfortable to be amongst the poisonous flowers, the meat-eating plants. The residents here know you by name, and yet you will continue to play innocent, and he will let you… for a little while. He can protect you here, he says, because this is his homeland. And soon, this land will claim you too, because you have each forgotten the true source of your infinite selves, and have settled for the jungles of trickery and illusion. It has much to teach you, but it is a dangerous and seductive master who will not let you go easily once you’ve accept it’s forbidden fruits. In fact, it intends never to release you, and before the long day of your life is through, you will go to war to save yourself. “Where you come from is gone, where you thought you were going to was never there, and where you are is no good unless you can get away from it.” ~Flannery O’Connor He shifts his shape. As you follow him deeper and deeper into the shadowy landscape you begin to notice things about him you have never seen before: the way his eyes change color, and his pupils change shape. The way his hands seem to get bigger and smaller, how his incisors sometimes seem a little too long for a human mouth. He has delighted you with tricks from the beginning, but it is slowly seeming to you that a facade is crumbling with every step, and in moments when the guitar string is stretched too tautly you see him- for just a second- without his skin. You are startled and heart-sickened enough to pretend that what you saw is not real, and you carry on. You wanted to run, but it was as though you were bound, frozen, chained and guarded. How did this happen to you? You love how he can twist himself into whatever you need: a silk scarf that slithers across your flesh reminding you of your femininity in moments when you are too afraid to be a woman, a bolt of lightning when the lights have gone out, fire when you are cold and hungry. What talent, he has, but you have not yet admitted to yourself the cost, as he is also changing your shape according to his needs. You are the bait when he must distract the two-headed beast to retrieve the emerald. You are the little girl he lords over when he borrows your strength. You are his concubine, accepting all his tastes as though they were your own. He possesses you. You are already too deep in the woods to find your way out alone, and you are counting on him to keep you from being swallowed by the sliding earth, devoured by what screeches across the tree tops at night. You begin to see things out of the corners of your eyes: fast moving shadowy creatures, long snake-like movements in the brush, eyes, and in your dreams, he comes and takes you someplace you can’t remember in the morning. He smiles, and tells you not to worry, that these are his pets, and you begin to see that you are too. “If you dont hunt it down and kill it, it will hunt you down and kill you.” ~Flannery O’Conner You have become loyal to him, as if your survival depended on it. You have been increasingly willing to accept that there will be times when you must beg if you wish to eat. You wish always to stay close, and when he ties you to a tree while he goes hunting you feel lost and forlorn. You have begun to see yourself only in relationship to him; somehow he has set up camp inside of you. Somehow he slithers through your veins with your blood. When you are without him, you still feel him, watching. When he is away, you still hear him in your mind. When you go seeking for something you need inside you, he is where it used to be, keeping the gate, rationing out your power and energy to you, on consignment. He is (spiritually/emotionally/physically) violent. You didn’t realize it at first: the way he was manipulating you. You were used to violence before you met him: you tormented yourself relentlessly. He alleviated you of the need to do this, slyly replacing your role as guard and tormentor, in a way that pleased you. First, he stripped you of your title. Next, he took your pain in his hand and told you it was now his. Then, he only used it to whip you when you hated yourself, and finally, he broke you at the hairline crack. “[People] don’t want their grace black…. Visitations of dark grace stand out as huge gifts when compared to actual life.” ~Douglas Jones It is this shattered bone that is your salvation. It is this dark and sacred moment, when the hairline fracture inside you becomes a canyon that you can finally see why your life was never working. You knew something was amiss from the time you were young, but never fresh- not innocent- and you can finally see it. You can’t fail to see it now. It howls, and sucks a glowing, toxic wind from the singed and fallow ground you built upon. The castles must now crumble. The night must now fall. The dawn must now come. He, mistakenly, has unfrozen your time. The secrets you keep will now bubble up like boiling tar and you will burn to ashes so you can rise like the phoenix. The wound is the place where the Light enters you. ~Rumi You are about to learn who you are for the first time in your life. Welcome to the hero’s journey. You are already beginning to discover that nothing is as it seems: that the black hats, and the white hats are indecipherable. You do not know what is good for you, and what is bad. You do not know yet that the weakness you have shown is about to unearth Goliathian strength. You do not see that you are the giant, but you will, because your survival will reconfigure you completely and you will come to see that you cannot be swallowed, bought, sold or owned. You will find out that you, the maiden in distress, are really the great goddess experiencing a moment of smallness in a vast eternal fairy tale, where the beast shows you the beauty. - Lisa
Posted on: Thu, 18 Sep 2014 15:21:45 +0000
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