HOPE MA POST NA JUD NI NINYU ADMINS :D JFB, Im not quite sure how to narrate this story but im going to tell it anyway. ganahan lang jud ko maka express sa akung kaugalingun kay I normally dont talk about this to anyone. so, here it goes: Mu tug.an ko daan guise. MAYA ko. i fall for men as well as my kapwa women. makasulti jud ko ana kay first nakong uyab girl and the relationship lasted for quite sometime. Mau to, pag highschool nako dira na nagsugod sugod na maibog kog guy pero wala gehapon nawala akong attraction towards other women. dawat mani nako and some of my closest friends know about this and dawat ra sad nila so mau nato. Honestly, seldom do i fall in love as in kanang todo todo grabe grabe over over to the highest level panagsa ra jud unya the last time i fell in love was with a guy na ge friendzone ko kay i was not ladylike daw kuno. (hahay hala sha) mau to happy and contented ra jud ko sa akung life. crush dinhi, crush didto, tanan gwapo ug gwapa na mu agi crush na nako. Karun na ni transfer nako sa san jose, diri na nisugod ug kayabag akong kalibutan. we met kay classmates mi sa usa nako ka subject. Irregular man ko so lain lain akong mga ma classmate. When we met, ang first impression jud nako niya kay "ay, ga identity crisis" naka sulti ko kay although guy sha, he struck me as someone quite feminine. nya mailhan bya jud na nimung bayot na ge dawat na iyang pagka gay ug gay na ga duha duha pa. so mau to. ni duol sha nako nya nagkig ila ila siya. mau to nagka friends mi. at first wala ra jud ko ato mura ra shag hangin na ni labay sa akung kinabuhi. until naa toy time na padung ko saka sa stairs dapit sa guidance padung ko sa akung HRD na class adto nya naay ni gunit sa akong bukton. ga naog naman sha sa stairs adto mau to iya nang kamot akong nagunitan. (late reaction pa jud kay ko adto kay padong man mi magexam nya wa ko ka tuon kay wa koy libro.) pagtan.aw nako siya diay to. Those 2 seconds na nagunitan nako iyang kamot and we were exchanging smiles, ngadto ko ka realize Gwapo man diay sha. He had these eyes na cute kaayu labi na titigan ka niya nya he has this warm crooked smile. ambot. taas pa jud and friendly gali. the kind na di jud mangi-snob. for the 3rd time in my life dira pako naka experience na naay makapablush nako. kana galing feeling na your heart literally skipped a beat because he took your breath away. hahay gugma. wa ko kasabot sa akung ge bati after adto kay deep inside me di nasad ko ganahan maibog balik kay kapoya bitaw aning masakitan ta pirmi. pero kahibaw sad ko na when love knocks on your door, its going to be hard not to open it. mau to guise, i tried to let the feeling pass. naka ingun paman gai ko na "ay dala ra tos ka kulba sa exam" so i denied the feeling i felt. pagkahuman sa akung HRD na class, adto naka realize ko na hala classmate man diay mi sa sunod nga subject. mau to ni sugod nasad ug pitik akung kasing kasing. I was so afraid that the feeling wont go away. that it would keep on being that way. na taga kita nako niya akung heart mu tukar nasad. but i had to test myself. see if wala raba jud to or naa juy something. mau to ni sud kos akung klase. mai gai wa ko naabtan sa traffic. so sayu ko naabot. nya ngadto guise, siya akung nadatnan again with those cute eyes and crooked smile greeting me hi. hala. nalanay ko. ibog na diay jud ko niya. mau to ni ana ko sa akung self na "ay mawala ra lagi ni. maypa magka friends mi harun ma wala ni na feeling. wa ta kahibaw" (diba naa may times na maibog tag guy kay gwapo nya basta ma friend na nato kay mawala ra sad ang kaibog. mau na sha akung pasabot. hehehe) mau to. wala ra sad nako sha ingun pansina kaayu. mangutana shag mga answer ug uban pa tubagun ra pud nako. i treated him like any guy friend i have and later on murag nagka anam anam nasad ug kawala day by day week by week. unti one I-thought-was-a-normal-day nahuman na to ang class na classmantes mi. padung nako gawas sa door and iyang gi bira akung knapsack. nangutana sha "asa ka agi?" ana ko "didto padung CPA review" nya ana sha "aw sige dungan ta" pag ingun jud niya nako ani guise haskang kulbaa jud nako. worried kaayu ko na balik nasad to nga feeling. as we walked together, mag sturya sturya mi. dira nako ka realize na naa diay jud shay pagka gay the way palang sha mu sturya makaila na jud ko. pero tunghod sad ana nga rason, wa ko kasabot, naibog ko niya balik. sa sige namog kuyog ug sturya (maski kadyut ra) didto ko ka realize na i was falling for him na jud. as in. the way he cared, and the way he listens to my chikas and everything ngato ko ka ingun na ibog jud kaayo ko niya. i dont know how i should react to this although its not my first time having a crush on someone gay, this is the first time a really felt something special for someone who has an obvious feminine side. I dont know if im just confused or what but im quite sure that i have special feelings towards him. sakit kung buot huna hunaun kay he is friendly to everyone so di jud ko kaingun nga special ko para niya mas sakit pa jud kay ang akung naganahan sa iya kay iyang femininity. something, i think, he is trying to hide. kahibaw ko na dili ni happy ending or anything pero ganahan lang jud ni nako i sulti hoping na someone out there will understand me kay ako mismo wa ko kasabot sa akung kaugalingun. Thank you JFB more power. :D Commerce
Posted on: Sat, 24 Aug 2013 10:50:15 +0000
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