Happy birthday? No such thing It’s my birthday today. This event has occasioned the usual array of annual thoughts related to the future, the past, regrets, the passage of time, and why I never seem to enjoy turning a year older. What’s worse, the day is typically preceded by a few weeks of aforementioned thoughts. It’s like tax season, only for life experiences. How much time have I spent doing the things I want to this past year? How much time have I wasted? What do I still owe and to whom? This Seinfeld clip below is funny not just because he’s trying to not be funny, but because there is more than a modicum of truth in what he’s saying. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed my birthday at 16. I reveled in my freedom at 18. At 21, I had a great time. And then, at 25, it began. The worry was and in many ways still is that I would never fulfill all my promise, that my dreams would remain just that, that I’d never be successful at the things that mattered most to me. Now I realise that although I’m a tad dramatic (just a smidgen), almost everyone can relate to these birthday fears. And no matter how much I accomplish or where I am in my life, when my birthday rolls around, I feel the same way. I don’t ever feel like I’ve done enough, or loved enough. It’s all just an illusion, but like any good one, I can’t help but get sucked into my role in this play. Happy birthday to you Rex, Know that I miss you so much.
Posted on: Fri, 26 Dec 2014 01:41:34 +0000
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