Have to share this. Just must. I and my kind birthday host go out to dinner at a local inn, (where, he informed me, the steaks are this big - holds hands 3 feet apart). Both of us are unwisely eschewing our glasses. I kick things off by knocking my open bag to the floor, spilling its random contents under the table. I scrabble down on my hands and knees to retrieve my trash before host tries to. Host has been perusing the menu, which is printed on fake-parchment stuff. As he looks down, perturbed, at me crawling on the floor, he inadvertently thrusts menu right into candle. That f*cker goes up like a firework and I knock it out of his hand. He stares like a hypnotised snake at the blaze before roaring, Fire! F*ck, FIRE !! A second later, all the smoke alarms go off and the Inn is evacuated. We laughed so hard in the car park we had to hold each other up with fierce grips to the forearms. Fire ! F*ck, FIRE! is officially the new Happy Birthday. ;) ;) ;)
Posted on: Tue, 13 Jan 2015 20:58:49 +0000
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