Have you ever had one of those irrelevant moments in life that you shouldnt have even paid attention to but has in fact scarred you for what you suspected to be for life? I was maybe around 7-8 (ish) in Wal-Mart when it was on Caraway. Its where Kroger is now for you yunguns. My mother was buying yet another pair of britches that I was just going to wear to threads in a couple of weeks anyway and had me try them on. Well the store closed at 8pm so Mom was kind of rushing me a bit. I was struggling to get them pulled up in a hurry and got tangled on one of the pant legs which caused me to fall against the door of the dressing room. Well that cheap piece of shit worn out door promptly opened on cue spilling me onto the floor like a drunk getting tossed from a the bar with a pair of britches tied into a cinch knot around my ankles exposing me AND my Spiderman underoos to all of them hags hovering around the dressing room regional area for no apparent reason. Now we all know that any self respecting super hero would never reveal his true identity while posing as his alter ego and that made me the laughing stock of not only that particular Wal-Mart store but to all super heroes and villains and pointing bystanders and people that could care less one way or another. For about 10 years after that Id play the does it fit guessing game of shame. I now have absolutely no sense of modesty what-so-ever (in spite of that incident) and will dry fit almost anything even up amongst the clothes racks or standing in line to check out or in the parking lot or wherever the hell else I feel like it. Moral of the story... if I had only worn my damned Superman cod piece that day it wouldnt have mattered one way or another and I couldve avoided 10 years of self imposed fitting room ostracism. (DISCLAIMER: Contents of story may be subject to slight embellishments but are true and correct to the best of my recollection.)
Posted on: Sat, 01 Feb 2014 02:27:44 +0000