Hello, and welcome to TERRIBLE! Week! I like a lot of music, but I dont like all music. I try to keep a few rules in mind. One, I try to believe that no one sets out to intentionally create terrible art. Even if that is their goal, they try really hard to make it as awful, or as offensive as possible (ICP, Im looking at you). Two, if something doesnt resonate with me, it may not be for me, but for some other folks instead. Which is why, for example, Im not going to rag too hard on zydeco, or gospel, Jimmy Buffet. I may not enjoy it, but I know enough about it to know that Im coming at it from such a different angle that my opinion is way off. But there are some songs, songs in my wheelhouse, that are so god-awfully terrible that they fill me with the passionate, stabbing rage of a hobo whose duct-tape boots have been stolen by Chicken Rick from Omaha for the *last goddamn time*. Sometimes it takes me a little while to figure out why I hate these songs, and sometimes I zero in immediately. Ill elaborate on my reasons here, but since I dont want to spend a week posting videos of songs that I hate, Ill suggest a better alternative instead. Suck on that, Chicken Rick. First up is Miley Cyrus The Climb. I generally take a dim view of song lyrics that are just cliches strung together to rhyme. Roar is a more recent example, but The Climb is just special. Its really a song about absolutely nothing. All it says is Im struggling against adversity, and the journey is the destination. If you turn over the lyrics sheet, youll find your lucky numbers for the week. Its not just that the message is trite, its that its so generic that it can apply to anything. Looking for a job in a tough market? Play The Climb. Etsy shop not doing so well? Play The Climb. Cant get tickets to ACL? Play The Climb. Mom making you take the trash out again? Play The Climb. Chicken Rick acting shady again? Croak out The Climb while plotting bloody revenge. The only story to this song is the one you bring with you. But unlike that awesome tree stump from Empire Strikes Back, this I just a meaningless, robotic pat on the back. Now if you want a song about climbing, may I suggest Paula Coles The Ladder. In many ways, theyre quite similar: vocal-driven, inspirational songs about struggle. However, while Miley can barely keep her voice together even with auto-tune, Paula does her own multi tracking au naturale. Lyrically, The Climb spams you with trite fortune cookies, while Paulas lyrics are concentrated and precise. The takeaway from the The Climb is that the struggle is the blessing. The takeaway from Paulas song? Shes not the struggler, shes not the journey or the destination. Shes *the ladder*, the one shes climbing. BOOM, Miley. Headshot. youtu.be/X4j7cqN9Xmk
Posted on: Mon, 13 Oct 2014 15:27:32 +0000
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