Here are some tools to transform your judgments: 1. When you catch yourself having a defining thought about someone, step back and ask “What do I really know about this person?” Can I absolutely know this (thought, opinion, assumption, conclusion) to be true? Often, the answer is a version of “not very much.” This behavior acts as apattern interrupt, and forces you to stop and consider where the judgment is coming from. 2. When you hear yourself criticizing someone to others, stop and take a moment to come up with one thing you like about that person. Then praise them, out loud, for that quality. Three things I like or love - admire - respect about him/her. This is another version of a pattern interrupt, and is also a reminder that they too are human, and like us all, have both attractive and not-so-attractive qualities. 3. When you find yourself in one of those incessant loop thought patterns of judgment about someone else’s behaviors, ask the hard question: Do I myself exhibit this same behavior or attitude that I judge in this person? She is judgmental. TURN IT AROUND: I am judgmental. Almost always, the answer is yes (not that one always comes to that yes easily). You probably already know that the stuff that irritates us the most about others tends to be attributes we don’t necessarily realize we ourselves have. This can be the single most difficult tool. And it is also the most effective. Sent from my iPad With L.O.V.E.
Posted on: Fri, 05 Sep 2014 07:35:22 +0000
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