Here is part of the disclaimer on our website, in big bold letters~ In addition, it is not our purpose to help you re-establish contact with someone who felt it was necessary to cut you off for the sake of their own well-being. We do not keep a list of resources for estranged parents or any other type of abuse and suggest if you are sincerely interested in making amends with an estranged relative, you do an internet search for a website or group that will be more relevant to you. And yet, we get emails from abusers on a regular basis, sweetly asking for advice on how to get forgiven. I like to think of it as sweetly asking for advice on how to FOOL their victims into forgiving them, because, of course, if they were genuinely remorseful, they wouldnt need to write to me and ask how to APPEAR remorseful. Also, as we all know, their victims didnt just cut them off with no warning. They spent years and probably decades asking nicely for the abuse to stop, protesting, crying, arguing, etc. No website can give personalized advice for each individual situation. Estranged abusers need to open their ears and LISTEN to what their victims have told them repeatedly, and then DO IT. Which is, of course, exactly what they are trying to avoid. So, estranged abusers, knock off the nice, innocent act. We see through it. You knew what you had to do all this time, and if its finally too late, too bad. Learn to respect the boundaries of the person who wants you to leave them alone. Im not here to help you trample those boundaries and weasel your way back in. You were told to stay away from them, so stay away. Your refusal to respect the boundaries of other people is half your problem. Youre welcome. Now go away, because this is not a page for you. For the millionth time, we are a ministry for abuse victims, not abusers.
Posted on: Tue, 16 Sep 2014 22:23:49 +0000
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