Here we go: Too many of us believe that we are who we are and there is no changing that, but this idea is completely untrue. We, as human beings, are prone to certain behaviors and some of us are even genetically disposed to traits outside of our control, however one thing is true-- you can change fundamental things about yourself, if you choose to. Core beliefs (like a belief in God, political convictions, and how we perceive ourselves) are very difficult to change... and when doing so, people often suffer from something called Cognitive Dissonance, which is what happens when you are confronted with a concept backed by facts, but, because of ones core beliefs, attempting to subscribe to said concept causes a violent backlash-- feeling as though you just tried to remove your own heart. When my marriage ended, it happened in such an abrupt way that I suffered from PTSD for about ten months. I started smoking the green stuff, which helped me gather myself and figure out my own fault in the situation. I also took a hard look at the religion that I had been a part of my entire life, to that point. When I decided to consider the questions Id been ignoring for so many years, what I found led to me leaving the religion, altogether. I am telling you all of this because I realized something very important: if I was going to be able to survive the personal and devastating loss of my marriage, something that I thought was ETERNAL, then I could handle challenging a god I was afraid of angering. I want to make something clear: this is not a post attempting to convince anyone to leave their church or to sway anyone away from religion. I am posting this to help people realize that personality problems, which cause us to have difficulties in our own lives, can be overcome. The key is to succeeding is for us to take a good hard look at ourselves and be willing to accept that we are changeable, regardless of our ages or personal afflictions. I see too many people going from relationship to relationship without stopping in-between and assessing the need to make personal changes-- and this happens in all types of relationships, not just ones of the romantic variety. I am not at all the person I will someday be, but I am very much different than the person I was a year ago. My ego led me to fail and self-doubt kept me believing that I was stuck, but I was wrong and I found a way to break that ongoing pattern of failure. I am posting this to encourage all of us, including me, to continue seeking our best selves. If there are patterns of difficulty in your life, you are the only person who can make them better and YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER! Engaging in a relationship with another person when you havent worked on your own reoccurring failures, will end up hurting both parties, because you wont be offering your best self and you will be doomed to fail, yet again. Its true what they say: if you are not happy alone, you will never find true happiness in a relationship. Start by loving yourself without reason. You do not need a reason to love you. You are the only person that you are, guaranteed to be with, for the rest of your life. Make it a healthy relationship. I love you all and I beg your forgiveness for being angry and posting hurtful things in the past. Let me start afresh and say that I am here to support you in following whichever path brings you happiness. I ask each of you to be willing to swallow your pride and ask yourself the hard questions about what needs to change in yourself to be the best you. This world will not change for the better if each of us digs our heels in and refuses to budge. MUCH MUCH MUCH LOVE TO YOU ALL and please be willing to support me on my path, as well. Thank you!
Posted on: Tue, 01 Jul 2014 04:44:16 +0000
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