Heres a question I received about Highly Sensitive People and my response. Maybe this will help someone else. Question - I am looking to identify highly sensitive people. I was recently released from a job where there were college students who I dealt with on working with student accounts and overdue bills who said I was rude. I believe they thought I was rude because I was at a Christian college and they were not used to being around sometimes direct people who say things with no fluff and niceties attached to them. I was direct with them and they interpreted it as being rude. Plus I was in the military where they were very direct. How do I more effectively identify these people as being ultra or highly sensitive and treat them in my future employment opportunities? Answer - Heres what I do know - take what resonates and leave the rest. If people are mirroring back to you that they feel your style of communication is harsh then is it possible that you on some deeper level feel this to be true? It may be that you are dealing with HSPs who are sensitive to your language, or they may not be HSPs. It isnt to bully you into thinking the way you interact is wrong. It is just to maybe be more aware of how you feel about your own communication style, truly. It is easy to say we like being direct and its just who we are. But, even at that there is usually a piece of us that somewhat cringes with the idea we need to be so harsh. If this makes sense. Just because we learn to behave a certain way (ie. through the military, family, society, etc.) doesnt mean that it is right for us. To talk to your experience just a little bit, you said you worked in student collections (essentially) at a university, and dont say things with...fluff and niceties attached to them. A couple of things: one, were you sensitive to the fact that these students who had overdue accounts maybe were dealing with external stresses of reports, exams, and to top it off financial concerns?; two, it is possible to be compassionate and achieve your desired outcome (in this case was collecting money). There is a saying you can attract more bees with honey than you can with vinegar. Again, I am not sure how you spoke, but just being aware in general how you feel when you are spoken to in a similar fashion is one place to start. It is easy to say I dont care, its no big deal etc., but I think that sometimes that is the response we say to make it seem like we dont have feelings and if we do that they dont matter. But, the truth is at the end of the day we are all human beings and we all bleed the same. I hope this sheds some light. It probably wasnt the answer you were expecting, but I hope it provides some insight.
Posted on: Tue, 04 Mar 2014 02:26:34 +0000
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