Heres an excerpt from my super secret anonymous blog. I dont usually like talking about these things, but its important to share because one in five Australians will also suffer from this: Since as far back as year 6, I have struggled with either moderate or debilitating anxiety. It fluctuates based on external events. Moderate anxiety has been a blessing – it has fuelled my drive to excel at university, work, my clean-freakiness and allowed me to transform myself at the gym over the last few years. You can manage moderate anxiety; you can channel it into achieving positive ends. The last four to five years of my life have been driven by moderate to normal levels of anxiety which have largely been a positive – although the occasional nerves before things like public speaking and certain social events would get worrying (particularly the nausea!). This is not the reason I am writing this, I am writing this to explain my recent situation, in the hope that it’ll both help others and get some stuff off my chest. The last four months have seen substantial upheaval in my life - moving out of home due to unplanned circumstances, a car accident, and a few smaller, more trivial things that all played into my anxiety levels reaching a near all time high – the demon from my teenage years had come back. The symptoms from severe anxiety itself range from heart palpitations, tight chest, constant fatigue, nausea, “brain zaps”, sleep paralysis, loss of appetite and an unexplainable feeling of entrapment and helplessness. And by constant fatigue, I mean spending entire days in bed (those who know me well know I’m not exactly lazy). I do not suffer from depression beyond the natural feelings of sadness everyone experiences from time to time – but the ongoing anxiety has led me to become somewhat depressed, but by no means suicidal. Unlike in my less mature and experienced teenage years, I am resolute in my determination to control this, to not let me life be dictated by it. It’s hard, unbelievably hard. Those who’ve known me my whole life know the battles I’ve fought and overcome in the past – not because I’m noble or brave, but because not fighting and overcoming issues and life events simply wasn’t an option. In the past anxiety has stopped me from reaching my professional and personal potential and damaged relationships. I am on the cusp of some potentially great things happening in my life – university is going well, so are potential career opportunities and, without speaking too soon, have recently met someone who is pretty awesome too. There is a lot of potential and great things on the horizon. Beating this demon will maximise my chances of reaching these. I’m still fighting it, the battle isn’t won, but the tide has turned in my favour. To my friends, thank you, I love you. To those who follow me, if you ever doubt yourself and your ability to overcome anxiety, please speak to me. I can help, I’ve been through it and no matter how bad you fell I can relate to it. Never underestimate your willpower. Peace out
Posted on: Sun, 19 Oct 2014 12:51:24 +0000
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