Heres some ideas on how to teach your children about right and wrong when the actions of others doesnt line up with your values - It seems to be a hot topic so Ill share with you a few things we did to help guide our young guys though the years of developing their understanding of right and wrong- 1. I love you for who you ARE not what you do. We began this principal in our home with them at a young age. As we lived this out they began to understand unconditional love. We chose to teach them more about right then wrong. We talked often about how much God loved them and how much God loved others regardless of actions. When they spilled their milk theyd say, its okay right mommy because you love me for who I am not what I did. 2. When they displayed bad actions as they got older we always got down in their space and looked them face to face and began teaching them how hurtful that their action was to both themselves and others. Wed say things like Oh no... This isnt who you are- this isnt how you act, what happened? We then talked it out explaining God has created you for an amazing life and this action doesnt fit in to His plan of who youre meant to be. 3. As they got older and began to realize that people make bad choices even in the Church world we sat them down and said, this person who you know and love has made a really bad choice. We love them for who they are but they have done something wrong and now they have consequences... This is why Dad & Mom tell you not to______. We then would discuss wrong and and right for their lives so they could learn from others choices. Wed ask them what they thought and then wed value what they had to say and wed guide them in solutions theyd think to help someone in their bad situation. 4. We continued using every opportunity to talk about issues that they or their friends faced. We found that our boys began calling us to come pick them up from friends houses when bad things were up or something felt wrong. We tried to never condemn anyone and always talked about, why do you think your friend would choose that? Are they hurting? Is something going wrong at home? Are they going through a bad time because no one is bad but something is making them lash out and do bad things. (This really dose work... Its not a little Christian technique but empowerment to understand WHY people sin or do wrong) knowledge is power over the why or reason. 5. We kept a very open free home with no dogmatic or heavy rules because we did not need them by the time our guys got older. The more love we gave the less anyone wanted to do wrong. We had guidelines about times to get home, video games, school work, house chores, etc. We often had family meetings when we would all sit down and dad would make some adjustments to bad attitudes and things that needed attention. We brought things out in the light- disfunction is when no one will confront a tough issue... Wed confront it straight on, talk it out then wed pray for our family. We needed to do this about once every few months. In doing this our kids knew a health family life and they regularly would say, my friend has a sad home and this is happening and they do this and thats why thats happening. 6. There was a point my kids began being the light to their hurting friends and their families. We didnt let them get to involved in these homes because light dims over time but we allowed them to go often for short times and be part in bringing love. There was a time we saw one of our boys being pulled in a wrong direction and we stepped in immediately. You have to use good judgement in who will bring out the best in your child but they do need friends and family to see some reality and know theres a real hurting world out there who needs help! For the most part it taught our kids more about right and how to help their friends in tough times. Ill end in saying I think really strong open non judgmental communication with your kids early on is the best lesson to teach them for their future choices of right and wrong- its your greatest weapon against secrecy and hiding sin and doing wrong. Best for you to be the greatest example your kids see in doing whats right- perfection is not a option... Remember you first have to love yourself for who you ARE and not what you do! Mistakes are the BEST lessons and the best teachable moments- dont hide them bring them to light! I love Maya Angelos saying, just do right, when you do whats right its the best protection, its the best body guard, you never have to worry and when someone mentions your name everyone smiles because they know you do the right thing.
Posted on: Thu, 14 Aug 2014 05:53:07 +0000
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