Hey Big Sis, Today marks exactly one year you have been gone, we all had planned a private memorial ceremony with just the family, but things did not work out the way they were supposed to. We are all dealing with your being gone in our own way, Jamie (Lanita Jr.)is wither Big sissy, I am glad she is there, to be honest, I am not sure I could deal with her today. She misses you something awful, but I don’t have to tell you that. Real talk, when it comes to her, hell I miss you to… raising a boy is so much easier..LOLJamie is 17 and a senior in high school, needless to say, every day around here is not exactly peaches and cream, but I would not have it any other way. Yes, Yes, I do spoil her and she does get over on me sometimes, but she is my baby girl, my last and that what Daddy’s do now aint it I know you are up there watching down on us, and you still have my back. Pleas continue to watch over her and guide her, sometimes I think she is about to do or has done something real stupid, it magically changes from a negative to a positive. I know in my heart that is you interfering from up above. Every time that happens, I think back to one of our morning conversations on the phone, and I remember you saying “as long as Auntie Nita is there aint nothing going to happen to Jamie.” I felt yeah then, and I still feel you now. You are her guardian angel, and that will never change. I spoke to Aunt Kathy after you passed, she told me that she knows everything about me, that you told her everything. She also said that you worried about me going back to that old way of life, and how you thought that if I did the next time it would kill me. I am not confused by the fact that you are totally one hundred and ten percent right. If I were to fall off there would be no coming back for me, that is why I remain virulent over my recovery and I do not take the disease of addiction for granted anymore. I know it’s just waiting there for me to give it the room it needs to hop back in the driver’s seat. The words CRACK, BUMP, HIT,ETC. are no longer part of my vocabulary, and have not been for quite some time. They have been replaced with words like Thesis, hypothesis, theoretical frame-work, ethics, philosophy, and psychology. One more year, and I will be walking down the aisle on the stage to receive my Bachelor’s in Psychology. When that day comes, I know I am going to cry like a baby, because I am not going to hear you yell out “ go head big bro,” like you always did. When everyone else doubted me , you always believed in me, Real talk, you believed in me, before I started believing in myself. I always thought of myself as your protector, I prided myself on the fact that I promised Daddy that if something would ever happen to him that I would always take care of you and Mommy. I am sorry I let you down, I am sorry I was weak when you really needed me to be strong. I am sorry I could not stop the pain you endured, the suffering you dealt with in those last days But I thank God, that he got you in his arms and you never have to hurt like that again. I love you Big Sis.. RIP This is in remembrance of my sister Lanita Lynnette Taylor, April 26, 1963-September 14, 2012 This message was meant to be placed on a balloon and released into the heavens so you can receive it. But knowing your nosy ass… you definitely hear me ….PEACE… I decided to post it as a comment on Facebook, so others who knew and loved you can comment and you can feel the love all the way up there…
Posted on: Sat, 14 Sep 2013 20:18:57 +0000
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