Hi everyone, Sorry to everyone whose emails and messages I haven’t yet replied to – these past couple of months have been rough. As some of you may know, several months ago I started feeling deep misgivings about the path I was on, i.e. the medical school application cycle. Over the past 2 years, I’ve been exposed to so many other disciplines and careers that can impact healthcare – health policy, social entrepreneurship, data analytics – and I felt that I hadn’t adequately explored those other paths before deciding to apply to med school (well, more like – I didn’t learn about the other career paths until after I started applying, which was 2 full years ago – but, technicalities aside, the reality I was still facing was one of inadequate exploration). And if I really wanted to dive into any of those other disciplines and careers, med school would not be the way to go; med school was not designed to train master policy-makers or entrepreneurs or data scientists, it was designed to train master physicians with top-notch clinical - and, in some schools, research - skills. Was that what I really wanted to attain mastery in? Were those really the skills I wanted to develop? With these thoughts in mind, I started to seriously explore a next step that did not involve medical school, secured a spring internship at an incredible patient education technology company in Chicago (ContextMedia – note: they’re hiring for a bunch of positions right now!), still keeping an open mind about all possibilities. A month ago, I was accepted off the waitlist to Harvard Medical School. Three weeks ago, I turned down the offer to be part of the Class of 2018 at HMS. (if deferral was an option, I probably would’ve chosen that – but you can’t defer if you’re accepted off the waitlist at HMS) It was a hard decision to make, particularly in the sense that philosopher Ruth Chang explains in her TED talk, ted/talks/ruth_chang_how_to_make_hard_choices – “one alternative is better in some ways, the other alternative is better in other ways, and neither is better than the other overall.” On the one hand, I was pretty sure I would only be able to master clinical skills in med school (note: I might be able to learn other skills, but not master them to a high degree) – especially as I also wanted to make more time for family and friends than I have in college – so going to med school would cut off exploration and skill-development opportunities for potentially more meaningful and impactful careers. On the other hand, I also knew plenty of MDs who’d ventured into other careers after their medical training, and some were now successfully driving systematic improvement in healthcare (which is what I want to do), aided by their unique perspective as trained physicians. Not to mention, a degree from Harvard would open a lot of doors. Though of course, I’m not 100% sure on any of these assertions – life is made up of so much serendipity, and when going in a new direction, reality often diverges from anything we couldve imagined before striking out (that’s part of the adventure). But at the end of the day, I needed to make my decision, and I couldn’t wait for the assertions to become 100% certain – because they were never going to become 100% certain, because life is never 100% certain. To explain why I ultimately decided to turn down Harvard’s offer, here’s another quote from Ruth Chang’s TED talk: “When we choose between options that are on a par, we can do something really rather remarkable. We can put our very selves behind an option. Heres where I stand. Heres who I am. … This response in hard choices is a rational response, but its not dictated by reasons given to us. Rather, its supported by reasons created by us. When we create reasons for ourselves to become this kind of person rather than that, we wholeheartedly become the people that we are. You might say that we become the authors of our own lives.” What I figured out in the midst of my uncertain assertions, in the midst of my hard choice – saying yes or no to HMS would create two very different paths, and while each path will encounter challenges and could lead to failure (an unmeaningful, unhappy career), I would perceive hardship and failure very differently depending on what I path I chose. If I said no to HMS and failed to drive systematic improvement in healthcare with my lifes work, I would consider it a mistake of ambition (to quote Niccolò Machiavelli). If I said yes to HMS and failed to drive systematic improvement in healthcare with my lifes work, I would consider it a mistake of sloth, because the yes would become a moment where I willingly relinquished the opportunity to explore unknown unknowns and potential greater impact and joy. I want to be – I am – someone who prefers mistakes of ambition to mistakes of sloth. I want to be – I am – someone who leans into the unknown and grows more alive in its adventure and exploration. And because I want to be – because I am – that kind of person, I turned down Harvard Medical School, and I face the future with no regrets. I welcome the hardships and the adventures on the horizon. So - with this decision under my belt, I graduated from college two weeks ago! What Im doing this summer - interning 5 days a week at ContextMedia, proactively exploring health policy and health tech and data analytics. So excited for the future. Come at me, world. And geez, this is the longest FB status Ive ever written, haha. But I hope you found it worth reading, and if you want to hear more, please dont hesitate to reach out via comments, FB message, email, etc etc. With warmth and gratitude, Cindy
Posted on: Sat, 28 Jun 2014 17:27:56 +0000
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