How am I supposed to react or feel when an envelope addressed to me and when opened I read: SUBJECT: Mary C. Talken, Deceased? I am not sure how I am to react or feel but I can tell you it caused me to go outside last night after 9:00 pm and just rock in my swing, so I could fall apart again. How does a letter take my daughter that was such a vibrant, ornery, beautiful caring baby girl and reduce her to a subject line, followed by that ugly word deceased? BREATHE BREATHE BREATHE BREATHE. I know it was an official business letter from the State of MO and had to be sent, but to a broken woman and shattered mommy reading the word deceased next to the name we searched and lovingly decided on when she was still in the womb, is almost unbearable. THREE WEEKS, yesterday. How can that be? It feels like my world has been tilted forever and not just 3 weeks. I didnt think it was possible for any more strips of my heart to be torn away but I was wrong. My body says sleep but my soul asks HOW? I wonder if my broken little family will heal. Pooky, we have never known the sadness and loneliness that has gripped us and wont let go of us since July 5th, 2014. WHY WHY WHY WHY??????????? T minus 6 days and counting until our first of our Year of Firsts begins. August 2nd will be Corries 26th birthday. Baby Girl, you always teased and said you couldnt understand why your b.d. wasnt declared a national holiday. We cant give you that but we will take your sweet residents cake ice cream and pink or purple helium balloons, each with a message to you sweet girl from your family and friends. We will then have a balloon release. I hope at least one reaches you in Heaven. How does a day, that was so full of joy and hope become a day now to me that I just have to close my eyes and pray I can survive it? Sweet girl, thank you for the new pink star. Daddy and I are really going to try to stop crying when we say good night to you, it does soothe our soul to know you are with our Savior, but it also solidifies every night, that you will never come back to us while we are here on Earth and that Ms. Mary Corinne is so hard for us to accept. We will continue to pray and ask God to give us strength and ask for wisdom to understand and accept what HE wants us to do with this horrible tragedy, to pay it forward with some good, that is our vow to you. I hope many of you see her thank you in the Jefferson City Tribune today (in my defense I didn‘t know it was going to be that large!). We tried to pick out 3 pictures that showed our baby girls spirit. She loved her brother Brian and her Elena Caroline something fierce, even tho before Elena arrived, Miss Pooky worried that her daddy would not think of her as his princess anymore if it was a girl. No need to worry about that Baby girl and from the moment Aunt Corrie saw your pink pom- pom on your hat she was crazy in love with you Elena! Today, my challenge is to pray for all of the people who have to send out yucky notices like I received. It cant be easy, especially when it is regarding such a young person. People are just doing their job I know it, but it doesnt help those of us receiving this information. The next time you receive something in the mail that you know is a solicitation, open it read it and then think hard before you throw it out. Maybe you are suppose to send a little something and even if you cant, read it anyhow and know someone typed the info and stuffed it in envelopes, give them the courtesy of appreciating a job that they take seriously. God bless, LET GO LET GOD, Dimes, pink skies & stars, mismatched socks, magic rocks, lost crockpots and Unicorns.
Posted on: Sun, 27 Jul 2014 16:48:56 +0000
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