How to Be a Bigger Person when it comes to confrontation: To avoid confrontation, care more about peace than being right. The thought of confrontation can make a heart beat fast and your palms sweaty. Many people would go out of their way to avoid confrontation rather than deal with a possible screaming match. Perhaps you cant stop a confrontation from beginning, but slowing its escalation is within your power. Being the bigger person means treating people based on how you feel about them, rather than how they feel about you. By viewing others with compassion and understanding, youll help turn a confrontation into a conversation. Difficulty: Moderately Challenging Instructions Breathe. Confrontation can bring on a fight or flight response, indicated by an elevated heartbeat and blood pressure, as well as rapid, shallow breathing or not breathing at all. Bring yourself into the present moment by breathing deeply. Concentrate on feeling calm and centered. Remind yourself that the bigger person acts without reacting. You dont have to act toward anyone in the same manner they are acting toward you. Stay in control of yourself. Focus on the big picture, which is a peaceful resolution. Say how you feel. Dont feel ashamed to be vulnerable. Tell the other person, I dont want to argue; it makes me feel bad inside, or You seem upset. I dont want you to be upset, or I think we could understand each other better if we talked instead of yelling. Give the other person permission to take down his defenses by removing yours first. Reach out. It is difficult to remain angry with someone who is touching, or attempting touch you. Reach gently for the hand of the person youre having a confrontation with, or touch them softly on the shoulder. She will likely lower her voice and feel some of her anger subside. Apologize for your part. You dont have to feel as if you were wrong to make a sincere apology. Say something like, Im sorry youre upset, or Im sorry were fighting, or Im sorry that what Im saying/doing seems to offend you. Open the door for a compromise. State what youre willing to offer, give up or do differently. Ask the other person how they feel about what youve said. Ask them if your offer is acceptable, or if they have another solution in mind. Take a walk. If you or the other person cant calm down, or the two of you cant reach a peaceful solution, be the bigger person by walking away. Know that nothing can be solved in frustration. Try again once cooler heads have prevailed.
Posted on: Thu, 27 Mar 2014 00:51:51 +0000