How to Thicken your Skin as a Project Manager You know when you’re about to get a healthy dose of criticism when you hear, “Don’t take this personally, but….” The words that follow are meant for you and you alone, and are indeed meant to be taken personally. Criticism is not necessarily a bad thing. In the right amount and in the right manner (aka constructive feedback), it is something that helps us step up our game. It’s easy to become complacent and satisfied with the way we manage our projects, so a jolt of criticism every now and then shouldn’t hurt you. But there are times when criticism is unwarranted. Not only does it come our way, it is frequent. That type of criticism is particularly difficult for a project manager to handle, but, as I like to say, you have to develop thin insides. Why Do People Feel the Need to Criticize? The first part of dealing with criticism is to understand and accept the reason it’s coming your way in the first place. The following are a few reasons: It Comes with the Territory – Guess what? Why do people feel the need to criticizeYou’re a project manager. By default, you are in a leadership position. You are in front of the team frequently, you meet with executives and clients, and most importantly, you make decisions for the good of the project. Every decision is not going to be 100% perfect or spot on, and unfortunately, the ramifications roll downhill and impact others on your team. You’ll feel the heat, and even if every decision is the best, people will still take the opportunity to complain. It’s human nature to complain about those things we do not have direct control of.What’s more, as a leader it’s your job to pass on the credit for anything that goes right with the project, and to accept the blame for anything that goes wrong. Even if an issue may not be your fault, a leader steps up and shields the rest of the team from repercussions that might affect them. It May Be Misguided – Another reason project managers are a target for criticism is that they are just in the wrong place at the wrong time. The resources you are working with may be swamped and overwhelmed with work. They are getting frustrated with all the demands that are put upon them by their functional managers, peers, spouse, kids… and on and on. Here you come, asking for status on an item on the project plan, and next thing you know they lay into you with all the things they don’t think you’re doing right! It could have been anybody that received their tongue-lashing, but it just so happened to be you. It May Be Legitimate – There could be the chance, ahem, albeit ever so slight, that somebody’s criticism of you may be correct. Perhaps you made things more complicated than they should have been or missed a critical task on the project plan. You’re definitely going to get some negative feedback if that occurs. It May Be Someone’s Personality – Another reason why you may receive criticism is that it’s in someone’s nature to be critical and negative. You can figure out who those people are in meetings and conversations pretty quickly; they are the ones who pick things or people apart, focus on all the reasons why something won’t work, or tear others down. Their criticism has nothing to do with you personally; that type of behavior is more of a character flaw. Regardless of the reasons, criticism can still sting a little. So, how can you deal with it professionally and be a better person because of it? How to Deal with Criticism There are a number of steps you can take to develop thin insides as a project manager (or thick skin, for that matter): Ask Yourself If the Criticism is Legitimate – The first thing Reacting to criticismyou need to do is objectively determine if there is a basis for the criticism. The trick here is that you need to look at yourself objectively. Could you have done something in a different and better way? Did the decision you made end up being the wrong decision? If the answer is yes, then it’s up to you to sort it out and do what you can to make things right. Who knows, you may even have to apologize. Let It Roll Off Your Back – The next step in dealing with criticism is to let it roll off your back. Let’s say it wasn’t legitimate and the person was misguided in their criticism of you. Will it even matter a week from now? Ninety-eight percent of the time it won’t matter one bit. The best thing to do is take the high road and not think twice about it. Not only is it healthy for you to not dwell on criticism, your response (or lack thereof) will build your reputation as a strong and exemplary leader. Push Back, If Necessary – Okay, you’ve gone through the first two exercises and have questioned whether the criticism is legitimate, made some changes or just let it roll off your back. What do you do if it keeps coming in your direction?For example, I worked with a guy that just wouldn’t stop bringing up the past. He continually painted himself in a favorable light by referencing his perception of mistakes that I had made. Meeting after meeting, he would intentionally throw some kind of dig or insult in my direction to make me look bad. When I’d had enough, I confronted him privately with the facts of what had really happened. The evidence clearly showed that he was the reason for what went wrong on the previous project, and it was time for him to stop painting such a skewed picture. He did. As important as the confrontation was the fact that I took him aside to have this conversation, in private. There’s no reason to stoop to another person’s level and act as unprofessionally as they do. Maintain your professionalism at all times and you’ll never regret saying something that could come back and bite you later. Criticism is something that will always come your way as a project manager, and the way you handle it speaks volumes about your stability and inner strength. As a matter of fact, you can actually look at criticism as one indicator of how well you are doing your job. It means you are visible, trying new things, and impacting other people’s lives in the workplace. Your challenge is to not overreact to criticism but to absorb, learn, and allow it to make your project management skills that much better. Now, if you find yourself getting criticized ALL the time, that’s a different issue. Understand people’s motives for providing criticism and you’ll find that your skin will get as thick as it needs to be for you to keep doing your job.
Posted on: Tue, 11 Mar 2014 12:28:12 +0000
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