I am blessed! I had a hard day Thursday but I was not gonna let it push me back into depression! Yesterday As I was cleaning the kitchen and listening to K Love the Holy Spirit began to pour over me. I have felt so numb to everything, I guess because thats the only way for me to make it without Coleman during the holidays. I have prayed and read the bible but I have felt empty but then out of the blue God has been visiting me. Its hard to explain how I feel when I say I feel numb. I kinda feel disconnected like empty and nothing. My feelings are seared but from October to December I was depressed and numb. I started thinking about how I have placed anger at people because I didnt want to be angry at God. I have been so mad that Coleman got sick and suffered and died and I had to put it somewhere. I realize that I cant stay mad for the rest of my life. I have to see things for what they are and go on. I cant live with anger in my heart. So I have forgave people and I am trying not to get mad anymore. I dont know why I am telling this I hope it helps someone else that is dealing with this. I have always been the kind of person that gets hurt by someone but quickly forgives them and puts myself right back out there completely open to be hurt all over again. Im not like that anymore. I do feel like I need to get myself in order so to speak. I want God to be able to use me to help others and even help bring people to Christ. Im not perfect at all but know one is! I want my life to reflect the good to come out of all the suffering Coleman did. I am not ashamed of Jesus! I wont they the devil push me down and keep me there, he has no authority over me because Im a child of God and there is power In the name of JESUS!!! Feeling blessed, Colemans Mom
Posted on: Sat, 10 Jan 2015 16:18:49 +0000
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