I am learning much about myself here in Haiti; some some good and some not so good. I am constantly struggling with the tension of feeling opposing emotions at the same time. For example, the peace of being called here vs the frustration of being here, knowing that we are accomplishing much vs seeing how great the need is here, loving the beauty of Haiti vs wanting to curse the heat and dust on everything, desiring God to grow me vs hating the pain of the growth, despising my human needs for space and time alone vs relishing being loved on and constant activity, etc. When we collapsed in bed last night, I asked God to bring me peace and comfort. Although He does not speak audibly to me, I did know He spoke into my heart the following thoughts. Becky, did not Jesus and His disciples struggle with all you are wrestling with in Haiti? They didnt have all they thought they needed. Even though they had glorious moments in their ministry, they also had days of dusty walking from town to town, had their own physical and monetary limitations, they didnt see my hand in many of the details of their own lives and the lives of the people God sent them to serve and they would forget that it is Me who empowers, directs and guides their every step? I am not bound by time or limited by resources and physical ability. I am not disappointed in your humanness. I created you to need rest and the fall will always be with you. You are mine and I have you right where I want you and need you. Rest and awake knowing you are mine and are called and right where I want you to be; in the palm of my hand Pray that when I forget that intimate conversation later today, I will stop and listen for His sweet voice once again.
Posted on: Thu, 31 Jul 2014 11:48:57 +0000
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