I am not a particularly vindictive person, nor do I anger easily. I generally am forgiving. That said, I am not a person who easily forgets a betrayal of my trust in them. Im not talking about mistakes or little lapses. I mean a true violation of trust I have placed in them. I do not consider it a matter of trust if my expectations exceed another persons abilities. That would be a misjudgment on my part. Like many of us, I have been burned in the past when I have given my trust to a person who has willfully violated it. Forgiven, trusted, invested in, even loved, I have seen that person or those persons turn against me. My willingness to forgive was perceived as weakness, possibly even stupidity. I am neither weak nor stupid. Nor am I a bottomless well of trust. Sometimes we have to commit ourselves to an idea or to a contract or to some sort of bond that means we must not only trust, but we must be trustworthy. Mistakes are forgivable and so are poor choices and so are minor lapses. I have made my share of these. The question I must answer when I am called to account is did I learn from these? Would I do them again? Would I consider the ends to be worth the means to the extent that I would betray another persons faith in me? To the first question I must answer yes. I did learn. No, I would not do them again. And, no, I would not betray a trust for selfish or personal reasons. I easily love other people and love does not die easily, but it does give way to good common sense. I can forgive and move on, but until I am shown why I must again have faith in a person I must see trust demonstrated and proven. Love undeserved in time will fade away and die. Love renewed and kept fresh and pure will not ever die. As a Christian I am only too aware of my shortcomings and my sins, and acutely aware of my need to be forgiven, not only by those I may have offended or will offend, but also by my God. All of this is part of who and what I am. Like the tax collector in Jesus parable, I say God, forgive me, a sinner. But I also know that God has carried me through my greatest tribulations and has blessed me far beyond anything I might have deserved. But He has also taught me to be careful in life and to let the lessons of life guide me in my days. None of us are perfect, but we are all Gods creatures and God loves each of us. And I am grateful every day for that love and for the wisdom it has profited me.
Posted on: Fri, 02 Jan 2015 05:35:25 +0000
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