“I am so glad I decided to keep several of my loved one’s personal items” One of the hindrances to a healthy grief journey is getting rid of our loved one’s personal items. Many times grievers think that if they no longer have their loved one’s personal belongings around it speeds up the grief experience. When I am sharing with people, I encourage them not to be hasty in giving things away. If the clothes are in the closet and in bureau drawers, it is okay to leave them there for a while. It is important for you to remember your loved one through these special items. It is okay to deal with this issue later on, even several months later. I suggest that you keep specific items for yourself. I recall a widower who decided the day after the funeral to dispose of every personal item belonging to his wife. This included a special mirror and clock she had treasured. The problem was that after he disposed of the items, he remembered where everything used to be and it complicated his grief. In the evening nothing encourages a widow more than to be able to hug the flannel shirt of her husband. The same is true of all grievers, different items. I remember a mom and dad who, after their daughter died, turned her room into a computer (office) area. But what they chose to do was to use a special shelf area as a memory shelf of some of their daughter’s personal items. It was amazing how they carefully chose specific items, each item reflective of a specific memory. Some grievers have chosen to use their loved one’s clothing to make quilts, place mats, new clothing and even ties. These have become unique remembrances and treasured memories. Matthew 6:21 reminds that where our treasure is, so is our heart. What could be more fitting that a treasured memory of a loved one! – Fran Welch
Posted on: Wed, 05 Nov 2014 21:00:00 +0000
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