I am the face of depression... Look at the pic in the left corner. Yep, I too, suffer from depression. And in light of the incredibly tragic suicide of Robin Williams I am going to take a page from Harcey Milk and talk about it. I suffer from mild depression, not chronic. Weeks, months can go by without an episode. And then, like a rogue gray hair , it can rear its ugly head out of nowhere. Sometimes it lingers, like storm front. And other times it goes as quickly as it came. I do not take medications; I am lucky enough that I dont need them or their nasty side effects. But many, like RW, do need these meds - and sometimes I feel guilty about that. I do actively do things to keep it away, mostly through diet and exercise and self-medicating with sugar, lol. But for others, please know this is not enough, that their pain never ends, and suicide is always a thought as a means to ending the pain. I am lucky that theirs is not my pain. What does it feel like? It feels like being broken. Like falling down on ice and unable to get up, despite two strong legs. It feels like being less than - and all I want is to be equal to. During an episode I will weep because I feel like I should have power over it - and yet I do not. Solace helps - but I still want to know you care and are thinking of me. I do not want pity - ever! Laughter really is the best medicine - so keep sharing jokes and witticisms. I am so blessed to have such a range and depth of friendships and family upon which to draw, but asking for help can be the hardest part. Now multiply all these feelings by a factor of ten, and then you understand the mind of someone in deep depression. I will mourn Robins passing because of the artistic genius who is no more. But I thank him for the endless entertainment he gave me, which in turn helped me with my condition. And I celebrate that his pain has, at last, ended. Peace to all.
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 17:18:03 +0000
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