I awoke from an intensely vivid dream, in the recovery room. Upon realizing that he only existed in my dreams anymore, coupled with a pounding headache, I started crying. (The nurse actually typed into my chart that I was weepy about somebody) GAH! Everything was a bit fuzzy for the first few minutes, but the dry cough & sore throat reminded me that I had been tubed during the surgery. There really is nothing to compare with the disorientation felt after general anesthesia. Initially, my doc was going to cut out a wedge-like area on my bottom lip. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that he instead slit it open straight, removed the cancerous portion, and sewed it together in a seemingly perfect line. So far, Ive counted 10 stitches that start on the inside of my lip, and extend to just below where my chin meets the bottom lip. There are possibly a couple more inside, but its just too swollen and painful for me to investigate further. The bridge of my nose is covered with a bandage, so Ive no idea how many stitches or how deep an incision was made. I do feel like Ive been viciously punched, though. While Im anxious to know what it looks like, Ive got no desire to inflict any additional pain by attempting to peel away the surgical dressing. I was told to expect some black eyes, possibly as early as when I wake Saturday morning. While this was by no means the hardest or worst surgery Ive ever had, there are mitigating factors that played into it being one of the most emotionally charged. My 5 year pain pill addiction VS. my (almost) 8 month sobriety was certainly a huge factor. Before I even consented to the surgery, I had a brutally honest discussion with the doctor. We agreed on a Vicodin prescription, as it is one of the few opiates that I hadnt been enamored with... being its not terribly strong or potent. (Im struggling with verbiage all of a sudden). Long story short, Ive only taken one pill since arriving home. Im feeling like my face has been repeatedly beaten against a rock, but Im determined to get through the pain/discomfort with as few pills as possible. I guess all I can do now is rest, recover and attempt to stay positive that this is the last time cancer is going to pop up on my face. Scarring is definitely on my mind, and once again, the vanity aspect is freaking me out a bit. Luckily, or sadly... I have no one to kiss, so I wont be missing out on any smooches.
Posted on: Sat, 26 Oct 2013 01:04:32 +0000
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