I can still remember the foul stench as I pulled all of Ted Kilston Stevenss belongings from the red colored biohazard bag I had collected them in while I waited for him to die at the St. Joseph Emergency room. It was easily the worst smell I have ever experienced in my life. I was a Sheriffs deputy at the time, and bore the responsibility of cataloging and entering all of the clothes and personal belongings that Ted had on him at the time of his sudden, and traumatic death. I still remember that stench of finality smeared all over his soiled jeans and shirt as they lay before me on the concrete floor of the court houses underground parking lot. When you die like Ted did everything that you have in your body starts coming out; blood, urine, excrement, and an assortment of other fluids. I remember watching the ER nurses cutting his clothes off with scissors as they went through the motions of trying to save him. We all knew he was going to die, it was just a matter of time. I was there when the Paramedics from the ambulance first started trying to save Ted. A deep crimson, almost black colored puddle of blood had pooled in the gravel, gushing from a crater on the top of his head where the 9mm bullet had entered, passed through his brain, and lodged in his neck. Somehow he was still alive. We had apprehended his killer, who had remained there, dumbfounded by what he had done. His name was Roy Lee Stevens, and he was Teds brother. He had shot Ted while arguing with him about a lawnmower. If only we could all die over such important things. Ted did not live an admirable life. Many of the older deputies I worked with knew him from previous encounters. By all accounts he was a drunk who couldnt handle his liquor very well, with a meth habit on the side. His own wife didnt even show up to the ER while he was dying. It was just me, and a couple of other deputies overseeing him during those final moments before oblivion. The deputies who had dealt with him before seemed the quietest upon his passing. It wasnt like you think it would be. There was no muttering of good riddance, or oh well. Only the quite rumination of the finality that we must all ultimately share in. In his final moments the ones who had every reason to give Ted no respect gave him respect; and there is a certain dignity to that which is difficult to describe in words. Ive never really talked about this much with anybody. Ive tried to write down the parts of this memory that really strike me, so it might seem a bit fragmented. But really, Im remembering this tonight out of gratitude for those of us who understand the sanctity of life. Even through the seeming stench of it all there is a sacredness to life. We living beings are some of the rarest things in all the known universe. We are all truly miracles of existence. We should try to live our lives in accordance with this reality.
Posted on: Tue, 18 Mar 2014 07:33:24 +0000
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