I cant say he never hit me.. it wasnt about the frequency, but so much manipulation which I am sure wasnt even intentional on some levels.. or maybe it was.. who am I to say? I only live in my own head, and only know what I was thinking.. and most of it was shame.. I am still ashamed that I stayed as long as I did.. that I did what I had to do to numb myself enough to live with it.. that I took it when he got drunk and picked a fight, or kicked me out, or tried to run me over with the van because I wouldnt ride with him because hed been drinking.. no, the hitting didnt happen until after we had been married a while, and even then I worked hard to make sure it didnt happen at all.. and never in front of the children if I could manage it. I lied to protect us.. I didnt call the cops.. I am tough.. he never broke anything, so I never went to the hospital (except to have my daughter.. and then they kept us in there for 6 days after he went out and got drunk and then tried to come stay with us at the hospital.. and they knew if was a dangerous situation). I tried to be everything he needed.. and of course failed miserably.
Posted on: Sun, 04 Jan 2015 23:09:14 +0000
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