I copied ths from another support site. Reposting in hopes it will help others. What is No Mans Land and why are most quits lost during months 2, 3, and 4? No Mans Land is that period of time between about 1 month and 3 or 4 months into your quit. This is a time when many people slip and go into a full relapse and have to start over... if they can start over, that is. I have some observations that may help some of you who are literally hanging on by your fingernails... or who may find yourself there tomorrow. The first month is an exhausting but exhilarating experience... you are locked in nearly daily struggles and you get the satisfaction of successfully beating your addiction that day. You go to bed a WINNER each night, and you are justifiably proud of yourself. Your friends and family are also supportive as they see you struggling each day to maintain your quit. And you are being constantly supported here, whether or not you post... just being here is good for your quit. And so, the battles are won and it actually becomes easier and the battles occur less often as you finish 30 days or so. Around 60 days, youre starting to have some really good days, with very few craves and some nice insights about yourself... but then again, you still have some bad days. Those bad days can really be depressing... you begin to wonder if youre ever going be able to relax. Your junkie is whispering to you, telling you that just one wont hurt. Youve conquered your daily triggers, but now you start tripping over the occasional ones... a death in the family, unexpectedly bad news, money problems, health problems, going on a long car ride, a trip to the bar, or whatever. You have a strong crave and you begin to doubt your ability to keep your quit. In addition, the 3D support that you used to get is pretty much gone... non-smokers figure you should be over it by now, smokers dont like to hang around you much because they feel guilty and addicted (remember that feeling?), and people who have quit may not remember just how much love and support you need well into the first few months. They all think you should be over it, you think you should be over it... and the temptation is to have just one to see if you ARE over it. But of course youre not over it, are you? That just one whisper becomes much, much louder and becomes just one more... and each time you give in to that whisper, the craves come harder and sooner. The one way to guarantee that your craves will never go away is to light up. Those craves will be back and keep coming back. But if you protect your quit, your craves will eventually weaken and become even fewer and farther between. As you get to around 100 days or so (some will be a bit longer)... you will begin to really get a healthy perspective on your addiction. You will see the huge role that smoking played in your life and you will see clearly what that addiction really cost you. And you will understand that it was a very high price to pay... the loss of your confidence, your emotions, your self-control... your SELF. All enslaved to your addiction. And you will begin to see that you can look forward to a non-smoking future without romanticizing your addiction. You see it clearly for the life-stealing evil it was... and is. You see a much different future for yourself than your past has been. And it no longer scares the hell out of you to think that you are done smoking... in fact, you embrace that thought with joy every day. But you have to get out of No Mans Land first. How can you help yourself? And how can those of us who have been through it help you? First of all, you need to understand that you arent alone. Take a deep and honest look at your past life... your life as a smoker and compare it to what your life is like now... and what it will be like in the future. You have to develop that vision of your future, of the person that you are going to BECOME now that you have freed yourself. You have to believe in yourself. You have to love yourself enough to STOP yourself from your addiction. No Mans Land doesnt have to be so lonely and scary. You need some company and some courage and some faith in yourself. And when you emerge from it, you will not be the same person that entered it. Never, never, never question your decision to quit! This is the most loving thing that you will ever do for yourself. A few weeks of discomfort in exchange for a lifetime of freedom. You will never find another deal like it.
Posted on: Mon, 29 Dec 2014 15:59:41 +0000