I feel.. so lost. he muttered out loud and sniffed a bit, rubbing his arms together in attempt to warm himself. He has been trying so hard lately to understand himself, yet the more he tries the more confused and conflicted he gets by his own emotions. Ventus moved a shaky hand through his hair, feeling is body tremble as he did so. Since of that reaction, he forced his body to lay back in bed as he stared up into the dark areas of his ceiling. I just keep trying my best to think that I am okay, when I am not. I try to block off my emotions. Claim that these feelings shouldnt be worth it but I know that is a lie. He clenged his fist, closing his dull, sullen eyes with his own sadden gesture. It seems as if Im trying to make myself forget the pain, forget the reasonings for why I thought you would be there for me. I wanted saving, yet it was out of my grasp and I just keep falling and falling into deeper despair. I try my best, to keep myself positive. To keep myself happy and let myself be the reason to be happy yet that is something I am not used to. he rambled on, pulling his covers up to his chin as he thought out loud in silence again. What will happen, if i failed the two of you again.. what happens if i let things slip out of my grasp and mess things up just like I always did? I wont let that happen.. I refuse. No matter how I feel, I wont let myself go without a fight. I wont let myself change.
Posted on: Mon, 27 Jan 2014 05:32:35 +0000
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