I get a number of messages on a weekly basis & theres a theme with many of them. People who find them in situations because they were too afraid to stand up for themselves. I have a number of classmates (from nursery school, through to university). And the person I am now, is not the person they remember - particularly the ones from primary & high schools. I used to be the one who was afraid. Of everything. Of peoples opinions. Of my potential. Of my own thoughts. Because I think I had an inkling of who I could become. And that scared me, because I knew I didnt fit in. And I was terrified of drawing any attention to myself. I still have the ability to blend into places & situations; and nobody will ever know I was ever there. Now, whenever I do so, its for a different reason from my previous motivation. I was about 20 when I heard that I could be whoever & whatever I wanted to be. I heard that in HOTR, Port-Harcourt. But I remember thinking How? I have no voice. Then, I remembered that I had been created with one & it was up to me, to decide what I said with it. I finally got tired of being miserable - pandering to people, will do that to you. I told myself, You were created for more than this. Youre dying because youre cloning people and telling stories they want you to tell. These people dont give a damn about you & if you die this way, it will be very unfortunate. Plus youll go to hell because youd have been lying, all your life. I didnt want to die, miserable. So, I permitted myself to locate my voice. Its the most freeing thing Ive ever done. Not feeling like I have to apologise for who I am & what I think - is bliss. And seeing the look of shock on peoples faces, when I say something that is not politically correct or culturally acceptable is amusing. Theres something about being happy in your own skin. Accepting that its OK to be you. Even when you make mistakes. Not getting your validation from the opinions of others. Just doing life as YOU. And knowing that youre doing yourself a favour by being you. Loving yourself enough to just be the you that you know you were born to be - not the you that another human being, wants you to be. You cant love someone else if you dont love yourself. And you cant love a you that you havent even met. How can love what you dont even know? Some of us have seen the movie Runaway Bride. And its easy to criticise the character played by Julia Roberts, because she kept dumping guys at the altar. But there are many people dumping their own futures, because they keep running. I remember this scene where Julia Roberts character had eggs - boiled, fried, scrambled, poached, etc - because she didnt even know what she liked! If a guy said he liked poached eggs, she said she liked those. If another guy said his preference was scrambled eggs, that became her favourite, too. There are lots of people studying courses they dont understand at universities they hate. Miserable in their careers. Dating people they despise. Wearing clothes they dont like. Living lives that were not meant for them. Because theyre too afraid to find out what they like. I achieved certain things because I chose to do myself a huge favour. The things that have made me the happiest are those things I did, because I knew they were right for me. The people that I am closest to; I love passionately and fiercely because I learned to love me. Some call it selfishness; whatever.
Posted on: Tue, 18 Nov 2014 17:20:14 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015