I have a bit of a confession to make. About 6 months ago now I started a journey to change myself for the better. I had already mentioned this before and I thank everyone for their well wishes and the like, though the confession is something that I was ashamed to admit and it was really the reason that I started the journey at all. I was miserable, lonely (still am :P) bored, and just considering all my options, and saying why me? a lot. I didnt know what to do or where to go, I couldnt (and still cant) find a damn job, debt was piling up, and I was just in general stressed beyond belief that didnt help my situation. Now to add to the fact I finally weighed myself when I was at my doctors when he wasnt in the room. The weight that the scale read shocked me and I honestly wanted to cry, throw up, and just start screaming and beating the crap out of myself for what it read. It read 417.8 pounds. And I was wearing light clothing too so...it wasnt wrong. I swore that if I ever got over 400lbs again Id off myself. And in a -technical- term. I kind of have, though it took me six months-ish to do it. Today at the Niagara West Branch of the YMCA, I did my usual work out, Id not been going due to a slipped disk in my back which was always pleasant *note the sarcasm* and finally, mended as best as its gonna get, I went back and started back into my routine of going on the treadmill and elliptical and doing free weights. I steered clear of the scale for fear that I gained weight while I was flat out on my back for the passed month or so due to pain related reasons and the like. But eventually I bit the bullet and went over, stripped off my heavy sweater put down all my work out gear and stepped on the scale to see something shocking. The scale read 309.5 and stayed there, and that scale is usually off by 6 pounds +/- So even with that...I stood there for a minute in absolute shock. Similar feelings came through me and I actually just started to smile and tears (thankfully masked by sweat) came rolling down my cheeks. I did it! I have lost 100lbs and am still going strong! I mean, I knew something was up when I went to my cousins Wedding the other day and had a suit on that Id not worn in almost 8 years and it was -loose- when I tried it on! But this was definitely a welcome surprise! So my confession is that yes, I lied initially about my weight...I was just to ashamed to admit it to anyone, including myself. I didnt want to see that number and I didnt want anyone else to see it either. But now that I saw the number today? I can happily and proudly admit that I was the weight that I was and that I will -never- get that way again. Its not healthy, its not right and its just not me. SO! If you see any person out there that looks about 100lbs or so and resembles me, kill it! Because I dont want it coming back. Ive lost it and I want it gone permanently! And theres more on the way. 260lbs, here I come!
Posted on: Wed, 10 Sep 2014 23:25:46 +0000