I have been reading this book on and off called FORGIVENESS One part of the book was so me. I could not get over it, I said to my hubby who is also my best friend this is so me So I read it to him. The Healing Process These are the jigsaw puzzel pieces of your life. Although many people have accumulated some puzzel pieces that are similar to your own, no one else has all of the same pieces you do, and no one else has fit their pieces together to form a picture that is identical with your own. You have different gaps to fill in order to complete your puzzel, different pieces to dicard because they NO longer fit you. So your healing process of the journey - to attain peace of mind and improve the quality of life - is something we all have in common, for each of us the journey itself will be somewhat different. However, even though each of us will move through the healing process in our own way and in our own time frame, we all will pass through six stages of healing: 1. DENIAL. This is the stage in which we attempt to play down the impact or importance of painful past experiences and bury our thoughts and feelings about those experiences. 2.SELF-BLAME. While in this stage, we try to explain what happened to us by assuming we were somehow responsible for the injuries and injustices we suffered, decimating our self-esteem as we work overrime to convince ourselve that we would not have been hurt if only we had been different or had done things differently. 3.Victim. In this stage, we recognize that we did not deserve or ask for the hurt we received. We are well aware of how we were damaged by painful past experiences, so much so that we wallow in self-pity, expect little of ourselves, indulge ourselves at the expense of those around us, or lash out at everyone and anyone who "crosses" us. 4.Indignation. In this stage, we are angry at the people who hurt us and at the world. We want the people who hurt us to pay and to suffer as we have. Our tolerance is virtually nonexistent, and our self-righteousness is at an all-time high. 5.Survivor. Finally, at this stage, we recognize that although we were indeed hurt, we did in fact survive. Our paonful past experiences took things away from us but gave us things as well. We became awere of our strenghts and welcome the return of our compassion, sense of humor, and interest in matters other than the pain. We bask in the knowledge that, all things considered,we did the best we could. 6.Integration. In this stage, we are able to acknowledge thatthe people who hurt us may have been doing the best they could, too, that if we are more than our wounds, they must be more than the inflictors of those wounds. With this knowledge, we can release them from prison and reclaim the energy we used to keep them there. We can put the past in perspective --without forgetting it --let go of the pain, and get on with our lives unencumbered by excess emotional baggage. I am a survivor. The victim left home one day and NEVER returned. I am here I am a live. Most of all I found me. I love me. Thank you to one and all who have always been there for me no matter what. You all know who you are
Posted on: Thu, 22 Aug 2013 22:33:58 +0000
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