I have been very depressed... it is just about 5 years since Ernie - TopicsExpress

I have been very depressed... it is just about 5 years since Ernie died -- November 8th is the day. I cant help but think about all the things I wish I had done to save his life...but I just cant seem to get it out of my head... me in a panic ...kneeling on the floor--doing CPR on him and desperately waiting for the EMTs to arrive... but by the time they got there he was dead...and so started the journey of me surviving the first winter alone out here at -20 degrees. Trying to keep my home-- my ranch and my horses... riding Toldar at Warfield Equestrian Park Open House was the first time me and Mr T had been back there ...Ernie and I loved to ride at Warfield ...so the memories keep flooding back. I want so much to get over the fears that haunt me and go on with my life...

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