I have known (and been) many blamers in my time. Both my parents were blamers, and I have been close to many others. Blamers take their moods, frustrations and difficulties out on others, without regard for their effects. In fact, they often enjoy the effects, choosing to dump their stuff on someone else in the illusion that it will actually improve their own emotional state. Of course, if doesn’t really work- if it did, they wouldn’t have to do it so frequently. I have also known (and been) the other extreme- self-blamers, those who bottle their stuff up and keep it all to themselves, the shadow turning inward against the self. This causes its own kind of suffering. The healthier approach is something we have yet to prioritize in society- healthy emotional release. If we can just learn how to own and express our feelings authentically and appropriately- without shaming or shunning deep feeling- we can stop harming innocents and stop hurting ourselves. The blame game, the shame game, were birthed in the repression of the pain body. That repression has just led to even greater suffering. At first this was society’s doing, but now it is also supported by certain dissociative philosophies in the spiritual community itself. Turning us into automatons is just another drug trip. Detachment is a tool- its not a life. Better we invite the shadow fully into the open where it can be owned and honored. We have to release our emotional holdings. There is no shame in that.
Posted on: Tue, 25 Nov 2014 06:36:45 +0000
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