I have never done New Years resolutions (and am even more ambivalent toward them since this time of year became weight loss season). I have always been somewhat fatalistic, but Heathers passing reminded me that life has a way of choosing its own path and sometimes all you can do is cling on for dear life and hope youre still in one piece at the other end. Change is largely beyond our control and to steal a quote from V for Vendetta, every time Ive seen the world change, its always been for the worse. However if I am still here this time next year, there are a few things Id like to have checked off an unofficial to-do list Ive been compiling for some years: 1/. Make some progress on the house. There are some jobs that increasingly annoy me, such as the cracks in the living room and certain walls that could do with a lick of paint. Relatively easy jobs that Ive been putting off. There are also bigger projects, such as painting / carpeting the basement, refitting the bedroom fireplace, new kitchen counters, installing a bathroom downstairs, which will require time, money, help, or all of the above. I know I have to be realistic about these, but I would at least like to start keeping up with the general wear and tear on the place. 2/. Organise the thousands of photos, videos, emails and other artefacts from the eight years that Heather and I were together. Currently these are in various ad-hoc folders spread across various computers and portable drives. Some are backed up, others not. Many are on Heathers Facebook and I have no idea how long I will continue to have access to that. Others are duplicated in multiple locations. I want to organise them not only for my own convenience but because they are all Ben will have of his Mom and I have an obligation and duty to her and to him to preserve every last scrap of evidence that she was here and how much she loved us both. Its going to be a huge job, and a difficult one, but probably also the most important. 3/. Extend my activism beyond Facebook. I have said for many year that I would like to start a blog or website, probably using the FatPeace name, as an outlet for my thoughts about weight-loss surgery and the war on fat people generally, both as a form of activism and a point of reference for people who are curious to find out more about what is currently largely a suppressed viewpoint. Although it goes against every my every introverted, Aspie instinct, I would also like to reach out using conventional media - my brief radio appearance has given me an appetite for more, and I know that every dissenting voice in this discussion is of critical importance. 4/. To relax more and stress less over things like work, Bens behaviour, money, and how others view me; to accept reassurance that I am keeping my head above water, and understand that in the circumstances this in itself is an achievement. And finally, not to beat myself up if in a years time from now I havent accomplished any one of these things...
Posted on: Mon, 29 Dec 2014 18:10:47 +0000
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