I honestly have had it up to here ::hand at forehead level:: with people. In the last few months Ive had an individual badmouthing my (relatively) good name after calling them out for serious defamation and slander of a person in the community I belong to, behind their back, and I also had this person verbally accost me when I asked for return of property and the replacement of several hundreds of pounds of personal property lost while in their care. It got to the stage where I either had to endure further attacks or concede the loss of my property and the latter was necessary. I have asked for the return of what is left of my property in their care (again another several hundred pounds worth) with minimal and vague reply and without particularly solid commitment so I have had to concede loses and ask for return (if it happens) to go through an intermediary. I have had people I have known for years and with whom I have worked intimately with unfriend me here and cease to speak with me without once asking me what happened, and I have actively invited individuals to speak to me after they sniped some comments at me for what I was perceived to do (without ever speaking to me or asking for my perspective - this never happened up until now), while going on to speak about me behind my back, perpetuating gossip culture, including on one occasion when I was in the next room to people I had just met. I have had people speak around me and not to me. In contrast I have kept the actions of this other person as private as possible, addressing them personally and informing the person being slandered when it became clear they had no intention of stopping or speaking with the person involved (and you do need to know when people are slandering you behind your back). I have not run around telling my story or rallying supporters. If people need to know they can ask me. For me there is a simple and useful rule - if you wont speak to people and say the same things to those people - dont speak about them, and if you are genuinely interested in perceived interpersonal issues speak to both parties before condemning one as the salt of the earth. I have known enough spin doctors and epi-centres of storms who seem, by their own accounts, to be wronged and the victim on a very regular basis and I am saddened by what I encounter but also tired of perpetual shit storms and sometimes I am sore tempted to returning to hermit life. I am not without argument and not universally innocent and I do not pretend situations and relationships are not sometimes complex - but I have little time for those who would caricature me or demonise me through partial truths or active deceit to serve their own ends and those who would support them by actively advancing these aims. So heres my rally call - stop with all the clique culture. Do no reply saying isnt that person terrible (thats not the point and not true - people are people in all their complexity and conflict is never easy or blameless) - I call for basic ethic and integrity in dealing with all people in a forthright and transparent manner. I call for a culture where geisi still hold weight. #tired #frustrated #demotivated
Posted on: Thu, 28 Aug 2014 09:54:38 +0000
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