I hope I dont scare anyone off with my long post but I do have a habit of telling the long side of a story so here goes. I had been dating this person for almost 3 years, and during that time, there have been breakups, actually many, more towards the 2nd year when things would be expected to be more serious. The pattern of the breakups dealt with commitment issues, (all of these issues he was dealing with) wanting his own space, not wanting the complications of marriage or having more dependents than what he had and each time he turned with this negativity, something would happen where I had enough and refused to compromise my convictions and we would break up. Each time we broke up, he would whether it be a week or 3 days, come back and apologize and vowed to try harder. One time we broke up for 2 solid months, no contact and I tried to apply the law of attraction, believing I would be able to attract him back, being a more whole person, or his equivalent. He contacted me back by email and apologized for his shortcomings and vowed to be more committed because he said he loved me and my daughter so much and we tried again. About 2 months ago, we had another situation and I saw his old side and there was an attitude there of disrespect, like we were going backwards, like where he was in this relationship was not really what he wanted. I told him if he is not willing to talk this through, then we need to end this, I told if he got out of the car at that moment and not willing to talk about what doesnt work with us and how we can fix it, Im done. He said he was sorry and got out of the car. I accepted that this was it, and it was done. 3 days later he called at 2am, apologized and said he would do whatever it takes to get me back into his life, that he loves us, that he would see a counseler about his depression, his leaning on beer to even himself out over the stress with his career and his custody issues etc etc. I told him Im done with the back and forth, that I needed a real commitment and the next day he took my daughter with him and he got me a ring. He took it to a new level because he always said he didnt want to get married again. We were fine up until 3 days ago. Once again, the stresses in his life started surrounding him, his son going into the army, custody issues with his other child, his career and is overall life that seems to spin out of control. That evening I came over, he said we were going to dinner with his son. He handed the keys to his son to drive and then I put together he had been drinking. I had asked him a question on a subject we had talked about before and then next thing I knew, he started cutting me down and making sarcastic statements about me, basically demeaning and at first I was startled, because I didnt know where he was coming from and I was in front of his 19 year old son who was the driver and the sons girlfriend and I Was getting really embarrassed and I couldnt believe he was saying these things in front of them. Since he had been drinking he has that casual sarcastic attitude while he was saying it, like he was talking about a piece of crap.There was no reasoning with him or any fair way to fight at this point. I started fighting back, trying to defend myself and tell him he was wrong and he was painting a wrong picture of me. I didnt want to have a full blown fight because we were in front of his son and we were driving. I said I wanted to go home, the son turned the car around and brought us back to the house, I got out of the car crying, gave him his ring back and told him this off the wall behavior where one moment it looks like we are going somewhere and then the other you act like you are talking to trash on the street, I cannot take, He said another off-color comment about how if it wasnt for me, he could have went out with some guys and then I said you can go out as much as you want and I left. So.....no, I dont want to be a glutton for punishment. And he may never call again because I gave him the ring back, but I just dont understand. I prayed for months and asked for this person to come back in my life as a whole person, or if not, his equivalent. I was so happy when we got engaged. That month until 3 days ago was really moving forward. HE has Dr Jekkyl and Mr. Hyde behavior. I just want to find my soulmate and has the partner I have always dreamed of having.
Posted on: Thu, 03 Jul 2014 00:06:49 +0000
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